Scottish man was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his mobile phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces, his wife has just produced a typical baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "That's about average up our way,folks...like I said, my boy's a typical Highland baby boy." Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says, "You're the father of that typical Scottish baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks.....so how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers, "17 pounds." The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He was 25 pounds the day he was born." The father took a slow swig from his Johnny Walker Whisky, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."...
please log in to view this image Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The womanbegins to turn blue, and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His brother said, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"
‘Mummy do all fairy tales start with ‘Once upon a time’ ‘No some start with ‘If elected, I promise...’
Please remember a doggy is not just for Christmas. ... Its a f*cking great position all the year round!!
