On the plus side I've got a Spurs fan sat next to me who is already resorting to calling for red cards for everything
Exactly. To them, Llorente must look like a carthorse trying his luck in the National . It's an embarrassment.
They're not playing with any passion or desire. It's a CL S/F ffs. At the start of the game both teams looked a bit rusty and tentative. Spurs with their quality have just played within themselves. And your defence just stand and watched the Ajax players for the goal. Why the fck am I getting angry
This is true, but even before the goal and since you're not winning any battles, not even in midfield which I find surprising. No closing down, poor passes when you do win the ball. And no desire to win the 50/50's.