Never been anti smacking myself. Was smacked as a kid and with my older kid used it as a punishment sparingly There are obviously right ****s out there but generally I think it's becoming harder to become a parent. I've always been against parents blaming institutions for their kids going astray, they're you're kids ffs. But increasingly I think it's become a **** show. If I can't discipline my kids (and each kid is different) then when a kid ****s up big time then why as a parent am I being questioned by the authourities?
I think it's up to the parents. Obviously there is child abuse which is definitely wrong, I don't think a corrective spank is abuse though. However, that said, I also don't think spanking is a very effective punishment. In the beginning it is, but it soon loses its effect and you're going to see better results with other punishments.
Personally I think it depends on the kid too. I have 7 in total and a one size fits doesn't work. It's the same when I was a kid. My dad hardly ever chastised me but I was "afraid" of him. Mum not so much and she was forever giving us a clip. That fear turned into respect in later years. With my own kids. The younger ones I didn't have to say or do anything. They basically just followed the older ones. But one of my lads only reasoned with threats of violence. Any other punishment he didn't give a crap about. But key here was threat. Actual violence imo does lead to less fear. As some have said it doesn't actually hurt after a bit. The threat imo is scarier Bit like a fight I guess. The build up is nerves etc but when you are in there any pain or bruises aren't felt until later. That said my point is that if I can't chastise my kid, even taking things away is seen as emotional abuse these days, then I don't want police knocking on my door when it goes tits up.
I'm going to say this only once more. Each of my daughters (at different times) had one smack only on one occasion, on the arse. It was never required ever again. Just harsh words after that. I didn't hurt them. It just shocked them.
So why even start off down the spanking route? I firmly believe that an adult who hits a child demeans himself. The reason why some parents resort to violence is because it takes more time and effort to be patient and understanding enough to use non violent methods.
In my own case: I didn't know it would be ineffective when I tried it. In others: well, I don't believe it is governments business to say how one should parent (unless they are abusing or harming the children).
I’m not making this personal to you, merely making my own comments on the topic, generally. I believe the State has a duty to protect all of its citizens, and to encourage all of us to respect one another. For me, sanctioning the use of violence against a child sits uncomfortably with those ideals.
