Spoons

What kind of c.unt steals spoons from the communal kitchen? Are people so pikey that they don't have their own spoons at home so nick them from work?

I get sick and tired of the lack of spoons in the works kitchen so off I trundle and get a new set of teaspoons expecting them to be available for everyone to use. Go back a week later and all the spoons have gone. Am I working with thieving arseholes or feckin magpies?

 

Are there any darkies at your work? If so keep the knives locked up, along with the spoons of course.

 

I work in a multi-ethnic and multi-cultural establishment, it would be wrong of me to suspect any particular person based on their country of origin.

 

Any big nosed Jews?

Jeremiah Codbin wouldn't be having any of them around. No siree.

 

Probably the work of Edinburgh junkies.
Are there candles or lighters missing too?

 

In my workplace the spoon is chained to the kitchen worktop, think of doing this at home tbh.

 

No but the tin of heroin is rather light.