Packed in my job at the sewage treatment works today. To be honest, I was just going through the motions.......
The rain was pouring down. And there standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub, was an old man, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water. A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?" "Fishing" replied the old man. Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says, "Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me." In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman cannot resist asking, "So how many have you caught today?" "You're the eighth" says the old man.
An Indian chief married three squaws, he gave each their own tepee, and a brand new marital bed. The first bed, was made of deer hide, the second of buffalo hide, the third made of hippopotamus hide. 9 months later the squaw whose bed was made of deer hide, gave birth to a baby boy, the squaw whose was made of buffalo hide gave birth to a baby girl. The squaw whose bed was made of hippopotamus hide, gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. Which seems to prove Pythagoras, the squaw on the the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides...
Bloke walks into the bedroom and finds his wife packing a suitcase. He says " where are you going?" She replies " I'm moving to New York, prostitutes there earn 400 dollars for doing what I do for you free " Ten minutes later she walks past the bedroom and he's packing a suitcase. " Where are you going?" She asks. He says " I'm coming with you, I want to see how you survive on 800 dollars a year "
I've just put all my dogging equipment up for sale on eBay... Haven't had any bids so far but there are 12 people watching!........
