People's worst fears

My worst fear is that Leazes will have more posts than me by this time next week .

 

I predict that I will be closing in by Christmas.

 

!!!

 

Imagine picking that player for England!

 

[video=youtube;ub842qIfVZQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub842qIfVZQ[/video]

 

Also I have an (extremely) irrational fear of my penis just, errm, falling off............

 

Does this have anything to do with Gervinho?

 

I did actually go and get checked in my younger days after a one night stand with a well known slag.

A conversation with a lad I knew went like this:

"I heard you went with Claire ...... last week?"
"Aye"
"Did you use anything?"
"Aye"
"Haha I'd get checked anyway they reckon she's riddled!"

Not wanting to take any chances off I went to the docs. The doc had a good look round at my pecker and said:

"Well there doesn't appear to be anything untoward and if you were careful, chances are you're fine"

I didn't like the "chances are" comment and went along to the GUM clinic. I wish I ****ing hadn't! Turns out I had nowt and the tests are not nice. Particularly the method of checking for chlamydia. Ouch. Still better safe than sorry lads!

I lad I knew had genital warts. I asked him if he had been and got them seen to. He told me "Naa I just picked them off. They bled a bit but they've gone." He was ashen faced when I told him they are likely to return with a vengance!

 

Clowns and anxiety

 

Dont mind the taking off or the flying but I hate the landing, along with heights and for some reason parsnips.

 

I can't stop laughing at this. Are you sure it was an accident she slapped its cock?! Just kidding. To be fair horses are not to be trifled with, particularly racehorses. Many are very highly strung, and have a bit of devil in them. I love horses and horse racing, my family has owned a few. I've been to the yards and been there on a raceday right up close. I remember the trainer of one of our horses asking me to walk past the front of our horse to get to another side of the paddock. The trainer sauntered by and said "come on" but as I went to follow our horse just raised his head and looked me straight in the eye. He didn't do anything but I swear he was thinking "go on you fecker I dare you, I'll bite your ****ing nose off!" Needless to say I took the long way round much to the trainers amusement.

 

Used to be afraid of wasps but not anymore, the only fear i have is swimming in the sea. Drowning, and i'd never go in an Australian sea, ****ing sharks n' ****.

 

This.

Oh wait a min, HE DOES HAVE MORE THAN ME!

 

Got to those Rugby players are very frightening and they did have a good team a couple of years ago or so, still you shouldn't be scared of them.

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loose women.

the tv show and cast of said show.

 

Its more of a case of what am I not scared of

I'm scared of all insects, dogs, cats, mice, frogs, sharks, crocodiles - most animals really. Scared of water, noises when I'm home alone, groups of people when I'm walking by myself, heights, talking in front of lot of people and lots more tbh

I also get a bit scared when my girlfriend is out when I'm not there. Although that is probably more paranoia

 

YES!

I don't want to go into the details of the horse's genitalia , but it is quite big and you may find it somewhere where you didn't expect to find it , because of its size.

Now that I've disgusted you all , or aroused some of you (not going to name names , I'm still in the SuBo game if that is still going on) I'm off to footy training!

 

As much as I'd love to go through and check all 9 pages of this hilarious thread to see if mine is mentioned I'm afraid I'm still giggling at the holiday from hell story on page one and the horse cock slapping incident - i'll save the other pages for evening time reading!!!!

Anyway - Balloons! and any knob-head who rubs and squeaks them - i'm actually cringing whilst trying to type! urgh!