Management Advice for Luvgonzo

I did all of that and more when I was management. I was good at structuring departments and delegating so that everything ran smoothly and I had to do very little work.

 

If you're a manager you should delegate someone else to listen to their ****

 

Always preface an instruction with the sentence “do me a favour...” If you can get someone to do something they don’t really want to do, with a smile on their face, they’ll do a proper job and thank you for it.

Of course some people will mistake your good natured approach for weakness, in which case you’ll have to have very a different conversation. You might want to work on your thousand yard stare, and on injecting your voice with the subtle but unmistakable hint of a threat.

 

Punch the biggest one ****ing hard. Oops sorry, forgot you're not a school teacher.

 

One of my most successful approaches in getting people to do stuff they didn't want to do, or telling people stuff they didn't want to hear was to serve it up as a 'positive sandwich'. So you sandwich the not so nice bit in between two nice bits. For example. 'I really liked the way you handled that situation earlier, it was much more productive than the last incident and I can see that you now have the skills to take this forward successfully'

 

or

'I really liked the way you handled that situation earlier, it was much more productive after i shot you in the bolloxs and I can see that you now have the skills to take this forward successfully'

 

Equally as effective

 

Outsource your job to some Korean guy for half of your salary. He will do a better job than you anyway.
Make up the shortfall in income by selling hand drawn hentai paintings on net mums.

 

Sort of yeah.

 

Best advice so far.

 

****ing hippy.

 

These two things may not be unconnected.

 

"I'm glad that you didn't **** that up like you did last time. Don't do that again, you twat."

 

I've always been a friendly manager. I'll cover for them and do anything for them. If you get that right, you'll have the hardest working reprobates in the building.

 

wtf, ya *****.


anyhow luv, just be like the sheriff in blazing saddles.

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Whe i was working for reasons beyond me for about 18 months they put me in charge of a team of 3 . Now i did point out when they told me of this "opportunity" that it will end in tears and actually said "For christs sake you know what i'm like after all i make staff here cry even when i think i'm being nice & they don't even see me often".
Within 9 months
Team member 1 (Male) Heart attack then off work 14 months
Team Member 2 (Female) broke down in floods of tears during a check on her work then was off work for 5 months with depression and panic attacks.
Team Member 3 . Had been successfully managing his diabetes for 12 years but suddenly his blood sugar levels were all over the shop and was then off work for 3 months whilst tests were carried out plus changes to his insulin etc.

Weirdly I was never put in charge of staff again

 

^^^ Sound advice from the pc police

 

Piskie that sound so sensible - we are trying to **** up Luvs new promotion here, so reword your advice and stay on topic

 

it's alright i have absolute faith in Luv










****ing it up all on his own

 

i'd have probably just looked at you with a puzzled expression and gone "what incident ? ".