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Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Garlic Klopp, Jan 13, 2014.

  1. LuisDiazgamechanger

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    #3161
  2. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    I was a very happy man.

    My wonderful Italian girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

    There was only one little thing bothering me....It was her beautiful younger sister.

    My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less.

    She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.

    It had to be deliberate.

    Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

    One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

    She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

    She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

    Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

    She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

    I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

    I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.

    I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

    Lo... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

    With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law put down his shotgun and hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

    And the moral of this story is:

    Always keep your condoms in your car !
     
    #3162
    carlthejackal and jenners04 like this.
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I just heard that the machine that makes the Dutch wooden shoes is broken. It's all clogged up.
     
    #3164
    THE FOOL likes this.
  5. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    #3165
    jenners04, organic red and kiwiqpr like this.
  6. jenners04

    jenners04 I must not post porn!

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    #3166
  7. LuisDiazgamechanger

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    #3167
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  8. jenners04

    jenners04 I must not post porn!

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    Make for a good game. Can you tell what gun that was <laugh>
     
    #3168
  9. LuisDiazgamechanger

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    The time Raul Meireles got on the wrong side of Ryan Giggs.
     
    #3169
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  10. LuisDiazgamechanger

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  11. LuisDiazgamechanger

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    This doggo who walks on walls:
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    #3171
  12. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Where the **** do you get these side-splitters from, dribs? <laugh>
     
    #3172
  13. LuisDiazgamechanger

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  14. LuisDiazgamechanger

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    Going to cost you money RHC<laugh>.
     
    #3174
  15. LuisDiazgamechanger

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  16. LuisDiazgamechanger

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    #3176
  17. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    #3177
    Number 1 Jasper and THE FOOL like this.
  18. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    Surely that should have said "the time Ryan Giggs got on the wrong side of Raul Meirelez"...?
     
    #3178
  19. LuisDiazgamechanger

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    #3179
  20. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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