So my ex who i've had no contact with at all for 3 weeks texts me yesterday with happy new year, hope you're doing well etc Haven't replied to it yet and wondering whether I should even bother and if I do what I should say ... other than burn in hell ****ing annoying because I was starting to feel better and had put a lot of work in to get stronger and make improvements, then I see that text
My advice would be to ignore the text. Ask yourself what her motive is for sending it. If she's messing with your head and you answer, you play into her hands.
Yeah, a couple of my mates just said ignore it and delete all her info now. My dad said he thinks she's probably playing games or something I've got a few options 1. Ignore - Probably best for me 2. Just mirror it and reply very simply, politely and detached, then go back to no contact - Probably most mature and the advice that a lot of professionals seem to give 3. Mess with her head back - Probably most immature but could be fun 4. Chew her out for what she did then delete and block her - Probably most satisfying
Send her a text back saying "Happy New Year to you as well. Sorry I am a bit late with my wishes, but I was shagging my new girlfriend when I received your text and thought it would be bad manners to reply whilst I was balls deep in her. PS. Best wishes to your family as well,"
She is probably hurting too and just trying to be nice but, without doubt, you should 100% ignore it.
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pretend it never happened. that's a new years text. You never said when it was sent. You said yesterday which is new years day so there's not i assume alcohol to be blamed. It just smells of her being bored cos if she was feeling anything mate.... if she had a few nights out and got tipsy she'd have text before now. the "pros" are probably right that some mature and polite but quite detached happy new year is the way to go. I certainly would not say any more.... cos you don't need the deluge of how are things ****e after. with any luck she's going the then ghost you and you'd wish you ghosted her first... BUT.... remember, you might end up shagging her mate and if you have ghosted her she'll have cock blocked you from that entire field of pussy.... but she's prob made you out to have been the worst ever anyway..... so... **** it... ghost her.
She sent it at 8pm yesterday, it's definitely not a drunk text, this is what she wrote ... 'Hey lfcpower, hope you're well! Just wanted to send a message to wish you and your family a happy new year! x' I agree that if she was genuinely bothered she'd have thought to communicate before this point and when she did might think to enquire after me or at least express some remorse or something, but people hide their feelings. It's just annoying cos I was done and out of there and this feels manipulative and callous just being all cheery with the exclamation marks and **** Was thinking of sending something very similar back and asking how she's doing but I expect you're right and I'd just get ghosted then, but still it's what I'm expecting anyways so may just say that for the hell of it, it's not like it matters. Prior to yesterday I'd completely walked away and will just do the same again after replying All her female mates are in serious relationships or married I think, but I agree the guy always has to be the villain of the piece
It's funny, in the weeks since this all happened one really great new mate has come into my life, people have a tendency to appear when the universe wants them to I think, and I've reconnected with a few other buddies really well, had a couple of top nights out, played sports etc
From all the things you've said, I'm reading into it that you're still attached to her. Understandable .... but don't reply to the text. Let it go, you will be glad you did in the months to come.
Yeah, not denying that at all. I'm pretty realistic about things and splitting up is not what I really wanted but attachment is anxiety based and sort of addiction oriented so I understand what's going on. It's just frustrating because I'd literally got to a point on Monday/Tuesday where I was feeling pretty fine and not feeling the attachment as much and was just kind of meh to not really thinking about it, then her message essentially relapsed me because it triggers all the old relationshipy stuff. I've been reading a few self-improvement books over christmas, watching videos and generally keeping really busy to occupy my mind on other things and was starting to be like, I actually don't need all that **** and can just do better and make way more of my life by moving forward and I feel like she's trying to drag me backwards with this, I'm prepared to let go but she's still wanting to 'be friends' 'be in contact' or whatever BS floats her boat, either trying to just be nice (why? you left me and didn't care or think twice about that, it's over), or to keep me around as some sort of back-up/subs bench guy or as some source of validation and attention since all she's finding on Tinder are dick pics and ******s. This is all really unhealthy and foolhardy as far as I'm concerned and I don't want any part in it. Also, the gall of it to message me on New Year's Day of all days, the one where most people are thinking about turning a new page, starting a new chapter etc ... really inconsiderate and somewhat narcissistic if you ask me
