Your Ideal Weapons Arsenal

As i mentioned in the fighting thread, if i were to go out looking for trouble, i would take a rolling pin, oven gloves and a cheese grater. If you were a chav, what weapons would you take with you? It doesn't have to be sensible, just pick 3 weapons you would like to have at hand if the going got rough, and you were unable to sort your opponent(s) out in a bare knuckle fight.

 

Nunchucks.

 

Nukes.

 

A pen, a lighter and a potato

 

Can you use them. If your swinging those buggers around like a madman, you're more likely to injure yourself than your opponent.

 

or what about

A saucepan, a portable stove, and some supernoodles.

 

I don't even know what they are.

 

how you going to harm someone with super noodles

 

Nunchucks in the hands of an untrained amateur are more dangerous to the person using them than anyone else

 

Make them eat them. That's what they did at Guantanamo Bay.

 

The supernoodles are my dinner. Whack them with the saucepan once i've finished cooking them.

 

Whip them
Make them eat loads of them and choke to death
Strangle them
Gouge their eyes with them
Shove them in their nose and mouth so they suffocate

Supernoodles are very underrated as a killing device.

 

I know. I nearly choked on some before. I wonder if there are supernoodle ninjas, who sneak up on people and strangle them with some.

 

Supernoodles have to be the worst 'food' ever invented

Edit: Scratch that pot noodles are worse

 

Nah, thats pot noodles. Vile things. Just eating them can kill people.

 

Yeah I just remembered those vile things

 

How about these 3

A carrott, a mallet, and some vaseline?

 

Well that just sounds like a good time

 

didnt know you were into that kind of thing, Cowboy?

 

Can't beat the old knife, fork and spoon.