"Dear Meowthrie"

A problem page has been long overdue, on this forum, IMO, so I'm starting one up right now. I have, on occasion, especially on the old BBC606, been seen as a sort of peacemaker, when all out war used to break out, from time to time.

So I thought to myself, "why not see if people want to unburden their problems, secrets and queries about football or anything else that might be blighting their lives?"

If you have a problem pm, pm. (thanks CF!) And I will see if "Dear Meowthrie can help. All in the strictest confidence. The problems/solutions will be aired on this thread but with names/places changed to protect the innocent (or guilty).

If everyone thinks this is a crap idea, then I will consign it to the atoms.
But, in the words of Hector Riva "Come on. It could be so fun!"

 

Meowthrie is here to help, with patience and understanding.

 

Do you want to be known as Uncle Meowthrie pm ?!

 

Only when I'm in the chair.

 

What about when you are on the "throne" ? There is a subtle difference you know............

 

On the throne I am the lord, of all I survey.

 

I'm sure that Meowthrie will keep details of poster's identities completely anonymous Channon - unless of course the "problem" being discussed is extremely hilarious or embarassing, when it goes without saying, we all have the right to share this information

 

X Factor. Well after all these years it's finally happened!

I have a fantastic marriage and my wife I consider to be a wonderful, sophisticated and discerning woman...well for about the first 8 months of the year, and them every Saturday she watches X-factor. I have tried to distract her. I have tried to reason with her. "don't you realise that the completely crap act that the audience are jeering had to go through 3 auditions to get on TV, just so the judges could say they were crap?!!!
I hate the whole thing, and it's cynical manipulation of the charts come Christmas is depressing. What should I do? A divorce would be kind of pricey, but I am not sure that I can take much more of this torture.

Dear reader.

What you are experiencing here, is "Reverse Match of the day syndrome"

To the layman, this is a recently discovered malaise, affecting mostly men.
For years now, the fairer sex have had to sit through endless football shows, which usually follow a similar format.

A panel of pundits are introduced to the public by the host, they discuss what matches will be shown, then it's into the action, followed by, after each match more discussion on the merits and shortcomings of the various players on view.

Now the tables have been turned. Please to observe the next paragraph.

X Factor/Come celebrity Dancing on Ice (whatever they are called).

A panel of judges are introduced to the public by the host, they discuss what dancing/skating/all round poncing about, is to be seen, then it's into the action, followed by, after each matc,, sorry performance/skate/ponce, more discussion and vitriol on the (few) merits and shortcomings of the various dancers/skaters/poncers we have just witnessed.

Dear reader, you have had a stark and brutal insight, into what your spouse has had to endure over the years (unless she likes football, of course). Take these emotions you feel on board and nurture them and you will, in the fulness of time, come to realise what a patient soul she really must be. Your marriage can only blossom as a result.
Dear Meowthrie.

 

This one's easy. Start some threads of your own, young man.
And ignore the threads you don't like.
Dear Meowthrie.

 

Dear reader, I thought long and hard about this one but, I think your only recourse, is to move. Have you tried complaining to your local council? I think talking to him would be a waste of time.

I detect subtle notes of a superiority complex in you however, reading between your lines, a common trait in the nouveau riche to which, I suspect you to be a member of.

Perhaps, if you remember your own roots, you will appreciate more that your neighbour and your good self, might not be, or have come from, so far apart as you wish to think.

Taking stock, of the whole situation, I suggest you try to ignore him as best you can, for the near future, I'm sure your paths will cross at some point. When they do, try to maintain a dignified but perhaps more humble air, maybe, just maybe he will gain a little respect for you in the process.

Who knows, he may even take your lead, begin to save money, smarten up his "pied a terre", stone cladding for example, and you will begin to see a gaggle of younger well heeled, ladies promenading up his freshly tarmaced driveway.

You may even find he starts to frequent the same restaurant, you vouchsafed earlier and possibly some, with branches further afield, or abroad even.
Dear Meowthrie.

 

Dear Meowthrie,

Funnily enough, my problem also involves my neighbours who feel they are a "cut above everyone else", despite merely winning some pointless tin pot trophy a little while ago, whilst my friends won a really big important shiny trophy which we are really proud of, and which carried a tremendous amount of prestige.

Some of my neighbours have this feeling of utter superiority, claiming that they will control the world at some point in the future, a bit like out of a James Bond film. Me and my friends are of the opinion that things will go "belly up" for them, and were wondering how we should console them when the inevitable happens.

So Uncle Meowthrie, my question is should we gloat like they have done to us in the past, or should we show them genuine pity, and feel sorry for them with the kind of compassion that only we can manage ?

Would appreciate your reply as soon as possible please, as me and my friends are finding it difficult getting to sleep at night, worrying about their sad plight.

Thanking you in anticipation.