POTY Award 2018

**** you, Grove.

 

Thanks, buddy.

 

**** you, Lain.

 

I used to go and collect Grove Junior from girl guides and wore tracksuit bottoms, shorts or thin cotton walking trousers with no pants on. I'd rub myself into a semi before getting there and hoik over the twig and berries to one side to make it look bigger. I like to think that the guides, leaders and mums all copped a good look at my junk, even if they laughed to themselves at how small it was. True story.

 

You got hard going to see little girls? I'm really not surprised.

 

.

 

#grove anus seized after usb port discovered

 

Can you not just die a horrible death?

 

He'd win it ...pants down

 

No, I got semi-hard prior to going to see little girls. It's details like that which verdicts hinge upon, ask Rolf.

 

Speaking of Rolf, I once saw him at the airport and asked where he was going, he said Florida and I enquired if it was Orlando and quick as a flash, he replied, "no, I'm going to Tampa with the kids."

****in' yaaaaaaaaasssssss

 

You make that up yerself Iain?

 

Yes.

 

Stop

 

...stealing old jokes.

 

What is the oldest joke you know? I think this one must be one of the first I heard

Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman in a pub when a fly lands in the Englishman's gin and tonic. He says "Oh gosh!" gets a silver spoon and lifts the fly out which then flies straight into the Irishman's pint of Guinness, the Paddy says "you fecker you" and shoves his hand into his glass to tip the fly out. It then lands in the Scotsman's beer who picks the fly up and starts smacking it on the arse shouting "spit it out"

I think this alludes to the English being posh, the Irish being brutish and the Scots being mean. It could also be racist. And not funny.

 

Dev is the oldest joke I know

 

Except you don't actually know me at all.

 

What we do know is that when the smiley is deployed, it's your lame attempt at masking how fkin beelin you are.