Spanish white, a good clear and concise opening statement, laying down the basis of the prosecution case and ennumertaing the various charges. I am sure that a few more can be added based on the sentiment on the various boards.
Mr Bates take the stand, looking sulumn and pale Leeds 18 (all suited, booted and wigged up) stares directed into Bates eyes and says ....
Mr bates do you solemnly swear that when you croak,not one of your family whatsoever will have anything to do with leeds Utd,and that you leave all your stash in your will for making Leeds United proud again,ie players not tosspot hotels etc? Well?
Mr Bates took a deep breathe, no, deeper then that.. He lift a cool crisp glass of french toilet water to his 200 year old lips, and muttered 'Nah' At this point, Farsleywhite had had enough, and jumped over the public gallery screen, making his way towards ....
...the tray of Fox's Butter Crinkle Crunch biscuits which was precariously positioned on the edge of the prosecution's refreshments trestle table. The tray slipped. "Nooooo!" Farsley yelled as the delicious biscuits toppled to the floor, a billion crumbs exploding on the floor...
pappa smurf then sits down weeping copiously into his hands muttering "that packet of buscuits cost me a max gradel"
Aldershot Lion is led away in handcuffs whilst the other 3 members of the YCMA continue to go through the defense paperwork. Suddenly Aldershot lion screams .....
Pandemonium strikes the courtroom as a protestor wearing nothing but a Billyboy Condom barges in with a bag full of hand-grenades (exhibit A). Billyboy try's to do a Rory Delap and hurl one of the missiles at Sir Ken. Luckily for Ken Billyboy did not have his shredded wheat this morning, and the grenade only travels 5 feet (including the roll). Tests later reveal that the grenade's were in fact a kid's toys EXHIBIT A please log in to view this image
A letter is produced and read out by the right honourable Judge Nora............. "To whom it may concern, I have been asked to appear as a witness for the defense, but would like to refrain, as we do not have one" Yours Simon Grayson"
tommylion approaches the bench and offers a weak character reference. M'lud, in the past the defendant did stirling work at a previous football club - now known as Chelski rovers.....the judge rules the character reference worthless....tommylion sits down with his head in his hands - sobbing (with laughter) 'there's no hope for that old bastard'
And not forgetting that he's called Coco the clown but apart from that what your saying is that the jury is still out!
With a Bates equital seeming more unlikely then a Millwall promotion, he decided to make a run for it. Judge Pags screams at the top of her voice ....
