I was slightly better prepared than you mate, in that my old man had his first coronary at 43 (I was 13) ... but his death did affect me a bit like you ... found myself just living for the moment in the weeks that followed ... treating girls like objects and being a bit of an all round **** ... what saved me was going off to Uni, meeting a gorgeous girl, and falling completely head over heels in love with her ... we were together for over 5 years .... she really deserves a lot of credit for returning me to 'normal' ... whatever normal is
This just shows how people in similar situations can go off in different directions. I got in with a slag, had a kid with her and the relationship was destructive which lead to me going out drinking a lot at the time and fighting in pubs. I'm not proud of that time in my life, especially as I get older. That's just the way it was, though. I've never ever been a bitter person, though, and it's nice to see that your life got (fairly) quickly turned around
Don't mean to be too personal mate but do you know why he killed himself? Also sorry to hear that. Cracking post btw.
I only ask as if it wasn't for my lad I might not be here. I just couldn't do it as I don't want my son ending up like Tel X
That's a terribly sad story that I can relate to, though not directly. My ma, who is no longer here, walked into the kitchen of her home in Liverpool to find my gran (her ma) dead with her head in the gas oven. She was never quite the same after that, understandably.
He had gambling and drinking addictions mate. It’s took me the best part of 35 years to accept that he didn’t destroy the family intentionally. Thanks mate
Your dad sounds like me, constantly battling something. I'm winning but it beats at times. I have too much to lose but not enough to stay around for - strange one. That's excluding my son. I'm just gonna earn enough money for my boy to never have to work, then reassess the situation. Got a plan to earn 200k a year. 10 years should do it. #walterwhite
No matter how much money you give to somebody it won’t be worth as much to them as having you around. When you start to feel worthless then you have a problem. If you want to make a successful life for your kids then you have to start by setting the right example and in your case it’s valuing your own life at more than zero. I’ve seen first hand what a family looks like when they lose a father. Money doesn’t come into it. The affects can last years, for me around 30 years before I could properly move on. You know where I am if you need to vent or run your thoughts outta town mate.
And kids are like sponges, they pick up on absolutely everything. From the way you speak to others, to how you talk about yourself, to your actions and reactions. They are literally modelling their own lives on what they see you say and do. Not always easy to get it right and none of us are perfect.
