have my mother in-laws driving license revoked? She has massive seizures and is therefore heavily medicated. Yesterday she tanked her brand new jeep of the highway into a tree at 80mph+. Thankfully she's alright, but she lied to the ( told them she swerved to miss an animal, $500 ticket) and refused medical attention.... her insurance company also is clueless, to the situation. There pretty bad, like blacking out for 30+ mins bad. She also cant use her right leg or arm with, well they function at about 40-50%, so she is constantly having to reach over with her left to perform tasks like changing the radio, etc She has a long history with seizures and has 5 seizures in the past 12 months, since her husband died. This is the first one driving. Im worried she takes out some poor ****er or kills herself !! she also drives like a bloody maniac , i will not let the wife who is 8 months pregnant in the car with her. Which has caused no end of argument. any input? what would you do?
seems a no brainer really , but is it my business ? school yard grass syndrome, which i know is a bloody idiotic way to look at it. I cant believe she would not quit driving of her own accord, she doesn't need to go anywhere, she lives in a gated community with a walmart in front she could take the golf cart across.
Without question you should get it revoked mate. If she mowed down a kid, or a few kids walking down the street, and you hadn't done owt, you'd be devestated. Greater good, you'd be doing the right thing without question.
cheers lads! im gonna get it sorted out Monday, sometimes hearing other people argue the same point of view, makes difficult decisions easier.
Think will have a word with her, threaten to do it unless she turns her license in. Then pretty much i have zero choice, from what i understand the insurance company will inform the dvla and police and vice verse. Jut hope she is bloody smart enough to do it, can see making things between us a bit hostile. I couldn't live with myself if somebody innocent was involved
If it was my kid, my family..I'd kill! If she killed one of yours as a passenger........kills herself....I suggest talk to her and then tell her what you're going to do anyway or talk to your wife and both do it. As far as I'm concerned it's as bad as drink driving!!!!totally selfish and not thinking of the concequences!
Lets put it like this. I once didnt report a dog that tried to bite me (it ripped my coat) and it bit a kid a little while after. I felt like it was my fault. Would you want to feel like you were responsible if she hit a kid, because it would always be in your mind that you could have done something to stop it happening.
This not even a debate mate, you tell her stop driving or you have to say something. Better some hurt now rather than a funeral later.
SA SAFC, I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through mate. I was in the same situation once. My mother had chronic diabetes and would fall into a coma (unless someone intervened) at least twice a week and yet was learning to drive. It's a long, long and horrible story which I won't go into here but she had psychiatric problems too and my dad had died not long before. My brother said he was going to inform the DVLA but didn't have the balls to do it. I was unaware of this and she died (obviously of the chronic diabetes) before she passed her test. Would I have informed the DVLA (or equivalent in the US)? Of course I ****ing would. Someone with that level of illness is going to kill someone on the road sooner or later (probably sooner) and you would have it on your conscience for the rest of your life that someone died due to your inaction. Obviously try to speak to her and get your wife onside, but then you have to act. I hope BTW that this topic is treated with the seriousness it deserves and the usual WUMs keep the **** away.
I can totally understand your concern as well as your reluctance to be the bad guy here. It is possible the seizures have changed your mother in laws brain, so she doesn't realise how risky her behaviour is, and she may have a reduced ability to think through the consequences of her actions. Her doctors need to be made aware that her condition has deteriorated. Try talking to your mother in law with your wife. Stay calm, but make it clear that things cannot go on like this and she has to stop driving until her seizures are under control. Tell her with a baby on the way the last thing the family needs is worrying about getting a call from the cops saying she has crashed and killed herself, or someone else. Offer to take her to the doctors to talk to them with her. However annoying she is being though try and be sensitive as I bet she is terrified of losing her independence, especially as her husband died quite recently. If she refuses to do as you ask, then can you and your wife approach her doctor and ask him/her to do something? Just explain the seizures are becoming mroe frequent and raise your concerns about her driving. I am surprised if she is so heavily medicated that they haven't taken the initiative themselves. Surely in the States the doctor could be sued if she did kill herself or someone else when unfit to drive due to a medical condition they were aware of? I would think a doctor can raise a medical issue with the police/licensing authorities if your mother in law refuses to do it herself. Best of luck. Let us know how you get on.
She has been telling fibs to the docs as well mate, and us saying she had been to see them when she hadn't, slip and fall etc. never mentioning the seizures. Incidentally we doesn't know we are are aware this accident occurred ( Thursday ). We found out through a friend that stopped at the scene when they saw her car. She told her not to tell anybody. Hope she has the sense do do it herself, or total loss of respect from me. Something im not incredibly thrilled about, seeing as we have a decent relationship. She is off the road at least until she gets a replacement vehicle, could be a week or so. Thanks again for the advice lads
I don't envy you. It's a terrible situation. She sounds really scared to me. She obviously knows something is seriously wrong if she is trying to hide it. As I said before, her behaviour and her gammy arm and leg suggest brain damage and her current medication could be making things worse, as the doctor has prescribed drugs without understanding the extent of her problems. Go with her and tell them everything. It's better that shopping her to the police, so your relationship should survive even if she is mad at you at first. And if she gets the proper treatment, she may be allowed to drive again sometime in the future.
Got to agree on making it clear to her it is unacceptable. Maybe better coming from her daughter? She has to understand if she doesn't do it voluntary, the consequences will be worse. From a personal point of view, my Father had a couple of mini strokes, not whilst driving. My sister and I had to berate him for a couple of weeks to make him see sense, that if it happened while driving someone else could end up dead. Thankfully he ended up listening. (A stroke still got him in the end, but quietly in hospital.)
