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Off Topic Mental Health Discussion Thread

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Steven Toast, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. Van Winkle bamber

    Van Winkle bamber Active Member

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    I can tell you that by just reading your last post that you are high functioning autistic, the diagnosis will not change that. Its in my family and I've read a lot on it and maybe even I'd fit in the very very mild category. I hope its not overstepping the mark (I do it often) but if I were you I'd write an email to your boss and tell him your struggles, tell him you've been to see your gp and he said there's a possibility your autistic and refered you on for diagnosis. Ask him if you could have the desk in the corner, slip out for a break to regroup now and again or be assigned clients who prefer email, whatever you feel may help. The worse he could do is say no or at best he may understand.
     
    #81
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  2. Howden Tigress

    Howden Tigress Well-Known Member

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    TH, from my experience if you can pay to go private you will get a quicker appointment, and diagnosis, not a different diagnosis. In all probability it will be an appointment with the same consultants, who do split work privately and with NHS (obviously private work pays more than NHS!) I know it goes against the grain of a free health service for all and an "elite service" but in view of the prolonged wait you mention, if you can manage it I would, there's no price on your health and respite for some happiness. #it'soktobenotok/different.
     
    #82
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  3. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

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    Wow pretty poor that mate. Like olm said if you can afford it do it. Good luck.
     
    #83
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  4. bobby ace

    bobby ace Well-Known Member

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    Happy to say it has been decades since my darkest hour and I haven't been anywhere near as bad since. In the spirit of making a positive contribution, I'd recommend listening to Tyson Fury talk about his suicide-level depression on The Joe Rogan podcast. I don't empathise with his religious beliefs, but he has some interesting things to say about how he pulled himself back from the brink. He talks about his fights, too. Good luck to those who need it.
     
    #84
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  5. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    Something that should help us all realise that is life beautiful really...

     
    #85
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
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  6. BrisbaneTiger

    BrisbaneTiger Well-Known Member

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    #86
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  7. TheCasual

    TheCasual Well-Known Member

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    I've thought about mental health a lot over the last 2 or 3 years.

    And I've realise we look at mental health to black and white. Either people are suffering or they're not.

    Mental health is not linear.

    I'm not sure how I can explain it.

    But you know some days you wake up and your body isn't 100%. You may be a bit lethargic or your body isn't quite working as it normal does?

    I think the mind works similarly.
     
    #87
  8. DJBlackandamberarmy(No4)

    DJBlackandamberarmy(No4) Well-Known Member

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    Absolutely agree , after this thread discussion I had a chat with my wife to let her know some of my thoughts , and I think she got a bit worried I was trying to tell her I was suicidal or something . I was trying to reassure her I wasn't , but then couldn't really explain what I meant . Think what you have said makes sense . I should have just said that
     
    #88
  9. askewshair

    askewshair Well-Known Member

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    I guess in a similar way to physical health then? You can have a bad back, but that could include anything from aching to being totally immobile? Acknowledging your aching back is probably the key to it not getting any worse. For some, it's best to rest, for others to work through it. Some seek help from a physio or medication. Some may do their own stretching exercises or try to make it stronger.
     
    #89
  10. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    So we do something different with our brain. If you are or were ever artistic in any way, that is wonderful therapy. Pick up that old guitar or whatever. Get in the kitchen and cook. If you can draw or paint, brilliant, listen to your chosen music and do both at the same time.

    Things that make you feel something... nice.
     
    #90

  11. Cortez91

    Cortez91 Moderator
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  12. armchairfan

    armchairfan Well-Known Member

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    The mind is a physical thing, I don't think there's really a reason to split physical and mental. They can both affect each other even in a kind of cyclical effect.

    All situations are different but it can often be the case that the source of mental problems can be the people around the person who is affected, some people really can grind others down over time.

    And the NHS, well doctors like to talk about government targets. Change doctors and you could well get the same spiel all over again, some can be quite aggressive. So it might take a while to find a good one.

    Definitely concentrating on something outside of those things/people that are causing someone problems, such as enjoying music or reading, could help.
     
    #92
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  13. BrAdY

    BrAdY Well-Known Member

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    this thread is really good

    still despite it, i still feel that people will treat me as a 'lesser' as someone different, and anyone who has suffered mental health really does deserve massive respect, and that makes it especially hard to join old mates, i feel like they would think im changed, and it might seem so easy, oh meet a couple mates for a beer. but it's infinetely harder than that, it's a battle you can't see, and that i wouldn't wish on anyone, the brain is the organ that gave us electricity, that gave us everything, but it is such an complex organ, but i still feel like people feel like im some nutjob from broadmoor, that they won't want to associate with me or will treat me differently after knowing, that's probably just pure anxiety

    and that's a really hard part, it really is hard to discuss problems especially with people you know,
    i've heard a lot that 'back in the day' men were men. that from my experience is still a prevalent view

    but working normal jobs is just boring, i constantly feel like i want something more, i dont want to settle down marry and have a home, it's not for me
    it's boring or i dont want to live for 50 years worrying one wrong decision or mistake from losing everything
    but you have to do it to live
    i fantasise about just taking off and living, if only i had the balls
     
    #93
  14. askewshair

    askewshair Well-Known Member

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  15. Saf

    Saf Not606 Godfather+NOT606 Poster of the year 2023

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    I don't know how I've ended up on this board, but I'm glad that I have.

    I'm not hear to argue or to get into any kind of slagging match as this subject is so close to my heart. After this post, I won't comment on here again and I won't reply to anybody. I think it's better that way.

    I've read every single post on here and some of the stories have genuinely touched me. Mental health understanding goes up every year and I'm so glad to see that. I tried to kill myself in April 2015, somebody on this board said that I'd used an air pistol to kill myself and a lot of posters on here laughed and lapped it up, you have no idea what that done to me. Again, not looking for any kind of malice as looking at the comments I can see people have an understanding of mental health and that pleases me, no end.

    I did shoot myself in the head but it wasn't a pistol, it was a modified rifle and I used a lead weight. The legal limit for a gun is 12lb of gas, I pumped this up to 11.5. I fired the lead weight into my head. It went in and out, I was bleeding from two places and it was the bleeding out that almost killed me. That took a long time to recover from and I've got a lump on my head that will be there for the rest of my days. This time of year (the cold) I get a constant reminder because it can be pretty painful. I was originally diagnosed with bipolar but after years of being treated for that and not getting any better, they finally told me it was a misdiagnosis and that I actually have Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. The main symptoms of that are pretty much daily suicide thoughts and extreme outbursts of aggression/violence. As soon as I seen the symptoms, I knew they'd nailed it this time.

    I do believe that mental health does get easier to deal with as you get older, but it will never be easy. You start to understand your moods and what it is happening to your mind. Since my suicide attempt, I've lost both my Mam and Nana, which happened to be the last of my older family. There's just me and my two brothers left now. That has been difficult for me to deal with and I've had my moments, but all in all, I've been okay. Conventional treatment never worked for me, tablets and talking never helped. I've been under CPN's and everything, that personally didn't help me so I had to think outside the box. I started using hypnosis and that helped me massively, I found myself able to have a few seconds thoughts before I acted on impulse and that had never happened to me before.

    Since leaving school (this might resonate with some posters) I struggled to hold down a job, I went from job to job with a lot of sickness and also a couple of sackings for my explosive temper. I struggled to keep a relationship, looking back now I was to up and down with my mood and I can see why it never worked out. I also moved from house to house, never really settling. I don't think I lived in the same house for more than 9 or 10 months, from being 16 right through my 20's. I used a lot of drugs and partied more than most, that was mainly my impulse and always feeling like I had to do something. I also thought it helped block out my mind from myself, it didn't, it made it worse.

    I'm finally starting to settle now, I've bought a home and I've been here for just over two years and I'm really happy here. I'm settled with a girlfriend but we don't see each other every day. I know that will be strange for a lot of people, but it isn't for us because it works. I'm also now my own boss, and I find that so much better not having to answer to anybody and be told when I can and can't piss. The business is going well, I have a shop and website, but I'm slowly starting to transition to website only. I'm quite unique as a company director, I tell my customers on the business page that the shop won't be open because I'm depressed and can't get out of bed. That's happened twice and yes I can see the funny side to it.

    What I'm trying to say is that there's always hope and light at the end of the tunnel. People naturally change as they get older but you can't put a number on it as that is different for everyone I think @BrAdY is a young (ish) chap and I recognise his thoughts, I've been that exact same person thinking the exact same things. I'm not going to patronise you with any cliches, but if you ever need to talk you can always message me in private.

    I've done some work with these guys and I would highly recommend them to you all. You aren't alone and it is more common than you think.

    https://hullandeastriding.mumbler.co.uk/andys-man-club-hull/

    Best wishes
     
    #95
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2018
  16. askewshair

    askewshair Well-Known Member

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    That s a great post. And I'm sure you'd be welcomed on here. Your story must give hope to anyone struggling.
     
    #96
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018
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  17. Plum

    Plum Well-Known Member

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    #97
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  18. Trau Morgus

    Trau Morgus Well-Known Member

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    The problem though about talking to someone is that if you're not like that you can't do it or find it so hard to. It needs to be encouraged but it's hard to make it happen.

    I'm a closed book in reality and it pisses people off. But it's just the way I am. I want to talk, I need to talk but I'm just not good at doing it or at seeking someone to talk at. I find that people don't care what you say, they just jump in and talk about themselves, so what's the point in talking? I just listen and have gotten pretty good at it. I like listening and know when someone just talks about themselves.

    I'm feeling bad at the moment. And the only comfort is that I know if things get bad there's always *that* way out. And it is a comfort. But finding comfort in ending it isn't a good place to be.

    I'm fed up right now, but a thread like this on a football forum of all places amongst us blokes really is a light in a dark place.
     
    #98
  19. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

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    I certainly know what you are saying TM. Now I fall into the trap of talking about my feelings (self) again. I guess I've always been the one people turn to and I have never minded that. Trouble is who do I turn to? *that* is a dark place mate.

    All I know is you have for got find someone to talk to. That has got to be the start of trying to put things right.

    Hope you don't mind this reply fella.
     
    #99
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  20. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    One thing you need to remember, Trau. We're all pretty much the same.

    It's easy to get the impression that everyone else is happy and all is well in our world.

    It usually isn't. We keep going because we owe it to our loved ones.

    Always look out for people you care for and think about how they will feel if...

    How would you feel if...

    x
     
    #100
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018

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