Who is...

Simpson was officially our fastest player last season, second fastest in the league. Harper was our slowest.

 

Yeah, on NufcTV he got asked if he had any hidden talents. They mentioned Stevie Taylor was good at magic and he says not really, I'm just a good dad

 

Yeah I remember that haha. Hope he never wears a black and white top again. Awful player

 

Our fastest player? - Obertan

Our slowest player? - Smith

Our most skillful player? - Ben Arfa

Our toughest player? - Tiote

Our softest player? - Does Ferguson count? He's only young so I'll go for Lovenkrands instead

Our player most likely to dive? - Jonas

Our most consistent player? - Colloccini

Our most inconsitent player? - Shola

Our underrated player? - Krul

Our overrated player? - Tiote (sorry)

Our most famous player? - On a worldwide basis probably Ben Arfa

Our best looking player? - Cabaye

Our ugliest player? - Obertan

One player who you most like to slap? - Ranger (providing I don't get shot)

One player who you would most like to buy a drink? - Harper

One player who if they left would make you think 'we will struggle'? - Colloccini


One player who you would love to leave? - Smith

Biggest character from what you can gather? - Smith probably

Most boring from what you can gather? Everything about Williamson seems boring, from his name to his style of play, so I'd go for him

Most intelligent? - Harper (at least lots of players have said that in interviews)

Thickest player? - Ranger. Although Best never seemed too bright to me either.

 

So he can play away games then?

 

Noooooooooo! haha

 

Really?!

 

Our fastest player? Uncle Ben Arfa
Our slowest player? Strolla
Our most skillful player? Ben Arfa
Our toughest player? Big Cheik
Our softest player? Jonas
Our player most likely to dive? Jonas
Our most consistent player? Colo
Our most inconsistent player? Shola
Our underrated player? Best
Our overrated player? Was Nolan, now probably Shola
Our most famous player? Smith, upsettingly
Our best looking player? I yearn for Yohan
Our ugliest player? Obertan
One player who you most like to slap? Shola
One player who you would most like to buy a drink? Harper
One player who if they left would make you think 'we will struggle'? Colo
One player who you would love to leave? Smith
Biggest character from what you can gather? That fella who runs around cradling his pecker in a spiderman mask
Most boring from what you can gather? Best seems like a bit of a boring bastard
Most intelligent? Hasn't Harper got a degree?
Thickest player? Didn't Saylor say that Raylor was one of the thickest people he'd ever met? Coming from the world of football, that's no mean feat

 

That was my reaction. Opta - I think - went round all the clubs in the league and measured the fastest, fittest, slowest players in each team. Guthrie was our fittest.

 

Injury prone Guthrie is our fittest player hahaha

 

The measure of fitness was average distance covered per game, Guthrie was top for us and in the top 5 in the league. It's all the time he spent chasing shadows I reckon.

 

hahahaha, nicely put!

 

Our fastest player? Obertan
Our slowest player? Williamson
Our most skillful player? Ben Arfa
Our toughest player? Tiote
Our softest player? Guthrie
Our player most likely to dive? Jonas
Our most consistent player? Colo
Our most inconsistent player? Simpson?
Our underrated player? Best
Our overrated player? Shola
Our most famous player? Santon
Our best looking player? Cabaye
Our ugliest player? Obertan
One player who you most like to slap? Smith
One player who you would most like to buy a drink? Raylor (derby winner)
One player who if they left would make you think 'we will struggle'? Colo
One player who you would love to leave? Perch
Biggest character from what you can gather? S Taylor
Most boring from what you can gather? Perch
Most intelligent? Colo
Thickest player? Raylor

 

Ah someone agrees with me about Guthrie haha

 

Been waiting for you to settle this, there was quite the debate the other day whether Santon was better looking or not and we agreed you'd probably know best

 

My girlfriend likes Danny Simpson and Alan Smith too

God our team is sexy init

 

bastards


Nahh, definitely Cabaye. Don't think much of Santon to be honest.

Not really helping matters am I

Bloody hell, I'm not gay (unless someone agrees to buy me a new 360, I'll go for that yeah)

 

Our fastest player? Marveaux
Our slowest player? Smith
Our most skillful player? Ben Arfa
Our toughest player? Tiote
Our softest player? Jonas
Our player most likely to dive? Jonas
Our most consistent player? Tiote
Our most inconsitent player? Shola
Our underrated player?
Our overrated player? Shola
Our most famous player? Coloccini
Our best looking player? Coloccini
Our ugliest player? Ferguson
One player who you most like to slap? Ranger
One player who you would most like to buy a drink? Harps
One player who if they left would make you think 'we will struggle'? Tiote or Cabaye
One player who you would love to leave? Smith
Biggest character from what you can gather? Harps
Most boring from what you can gather? Ferguson or Obertan personality wise.
Most intelligent? Lovenkrands
Thickest player? Ranger

 

Our fastest player? Obertan
Our slowest player? Willo
Our most skillful player? Ben Arfa/Obertan
Our toughest player? Tiote
Our softest player? Perch
Our player most likely to dive? Stevie Taylor (will do anything to see us win!)
Our most consistent player? Colo
Our most inconsitent player? Shola
Our underrated player? Ryan Taylor
Our overrated player? Ba
Our most famous player? Smith/Ben Arfa
Our best looking player? Cabaye/Santon
Our ugliest player? Obertan/Ba
One player who you most like to slap? Smith
One player who you would most like to buy a drink? Shola!!
One player who if they left would make you think 'we will struggle'? Colo
One player who you would love to leave? Perch
Biggest character from what you can gather? Stevie Taylor/Simmo
Most boring from what you can gather? Perch
Most intelligent? Lovenkrands
Thickest player? Stevie Taylor/Smith

 

Yeah all the girls seem to like Smith.
All the local lasses like Tayls of course.
Ben Arfa was considered as a sex god over here when at Marseille.