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Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

Discussion in 'Southampton' started by TheSecondStain, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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    I put on weight so I phoned weight watchers and said “It’s an emergency, can you send me someone round?”
    They replied “Yes we can, we’ve got lots of them.”

    When I heard you could become a sperm donor by post, I came in a jiffy.
     
    #38881
  2. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    That is so bad , it’s brilliant <laugh>
     
    #38882
  3. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    I came into some money .

    I had a w**kin a till .



    I went to a meeting of men who suffer from premature ejaculation , I turned up a week early .



    How do you get down from an Elephant ?





    You don’t get down from an Elephant . You get down from a Duck ...
     
    #38883
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  4. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    Two of my Nephews were arrested .

    One was drinking Battery acid , the other one was eating fireworks .

    They charged one and let the other one off .
     
    #38884
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  5. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    I just got back from a night club .

    Lucky to get in actually . I should have had a tie .

    I said to the bouncer , " sorry I don't have a tie , will I be ok if I wear a set of jump leads instead " ?

    He said " ok , but don't start anything ."
     
    #38885
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  6. saintkitch

    saintkitch Well-Known Member

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    • What"s nine inches long and dangles in front of a ****?
    • Boris Johnson's Tie.
     
    #38886
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  7. fatletiss

    fatletiss Well-Known Member

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    Has the world gone crazy? EasyJet have just announced that someone with a nut allergy is travelling on this flight, so could we not open or consume any nut products during the flight.
     
    #38887
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  8. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
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    I’ve had the same thing, also flying with EasyJet. I guess if someone went into anaphylactic shock at 35,000 feet it wouldn’t be pleasant for anyone on board.
     
    #38888
  9. It'sOnlyAGame

    It'sOnlyAGame Well-Known Member

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    Most people with nut allergy react after contact with small amounts (less than one nut) and some people may react to trace amounts. This means that you don't always have to eat nuts to have a reaction. A few people are so sensitive to nut allergens that a tiny amount on their lips, or even standing next to someone eating peanuts, can be enough to start a reaction.


    https://patient.info/health/food-allergy-and-intolerance/nut-allergy
     
    #38889
  10. fran-MLs little camera

    fran-MLs little camera Well-Known Member

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    Reasonable request....anyone can live without nuts for a few hours. There was a case a couple of years ago where a child went into anaphylactic shock because one person insisted on opening nuts even when asked not to.
     
    #38890
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  11. PompeyLapras

    PompeyLapras Well-Known Member

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    So you know a while back I was complaining about how often my gf's parents stayed over?

    Well, just to give you an idea what I mean... Since last Friday, it's been as such: Saturday Night, her mum stayed over, Sunday night, her mum stayed over, Monday night, her dad stayed over, Tuesday night, her mum stayed over, Wednesday night her dad stayed over, tonight her dad is here and it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume that he's staying over. And by staying over I do mean staying over night. And they're hardly visiting for a holiday because that would suggest that it'd been a while since they had visited and/or you don't see them regularly, rather than it just being the norm.

    Seriously, when you move out/move in with someone, I hardly think it's unreasonable to want to carve an independent life for yourselves, not just de facto live under their parent's roof, unless you actually move in to their parent's house.

    I know, I'm probably a terrible person.
     
    #38891
  12. fran-MLs little camera

    fran-MLs little camera Well-Known Member

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    #38892
  13. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    Bad crash on the avenue, doesn't look good... :(

    Avoid it if you can.
     
    #38893
  14. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
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    #38894
  15. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    No your spot on imo mate and I'd tell her.
     
    #38895
  16. fran-MLs little camera

    fran-MLs little camera Well-Known Member

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    Unless there is some valid reason that we don't know anything about, it sounds unreasonable. Is she someone who has never grown up, Pomps? I loved my parents visiting, but that was more like once or twice a year....not several times a week.
     
    #38896
  17. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    I thought that but he met her at uni didn't he?
     
    #38897
  18. It'sOnlyAGame

    It'sOnlyAGame Well-Known Member

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    Maybe they don't want to leave their daughter alone with the pompey weirdo she's hooked up with.
     
    #38898
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  19. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    <laugh>
     
    #38899
  20. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

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    It also stems back from this family campaigning for no nuts to be consumed on planes .......raising awareness the tiniest particles are all it takes for a reaction....

    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...ergy-brain-damage-amy-may-shead-a7905751.html
     
    #38900

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