I was getting ready for today’s game when my wife said “I think you love Swansea more than you love me!” All I said jokingly was “I love Cardiff more than I love you!” I won’t be at the QPR game.... the doctors say I will need at least another two days in ICU....
Jose Mourinho has just promised Man United fans that they will be in a major European competition next year. Even if he has to write the song himself.
The joke was on me - I didn’t make the QPR game and I was in A&E / hospital for over 8 hours. Anyway, had a ‘full MOT’ - all good. That said I still feel like sh**e
There was a magician who worked aboard a large cruise ship. Since cruise ship was constantly moving and the audience was different each week, he quickly got into a routine where he performed all the same tricks over and over again. However, there was one problem. The captain owned a parrot that saw the shows each week and soon began to understand the intricacies of how the magician performed each trick. Once it understood, it started shouting out the secrets during the middle of the show. Things like “Look, it’s not the same hat!” or “Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table,” or “Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?” The magician naturally found this very frustrating but he wasn’t able to do anything about it. He’d already complained to the captain, who refused to keep his parrot away from the shows. Then, one day, there was a terrible storm and the cruise ship sank. Suddenly, the magician found himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the very same parrot. Day after day, they stared at each other with hatred, but neither would utter a single word. This went on for three days until, finally, on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back. “OK, I give up. Where’s the f*cking ship?”
Applicants waiting to be interviewed at Old Trafford, as potential replacements for Jose Mourinho, if he quits..... please log in to view this image
