ABSOLUTELY FECKIN’ BALLISTIC RANT MODE ON On Thursday night, I went to the supermarket in the car (I normally walk) as I needed to fill the tank. It cost £48 so clearly the price has gone up considerably since I last got it out the garage! At a quarter past midnight Saturday, I set off for the Big Smoke as I needed to get to Victoria Station to catch a train at 05:44. I could take my time and get the tube at around 04:20 if I made a pitstop. Normally I take the M62 then the M18 and onto the M1. The overhead signs on the M18 stated that the M1 was closed between junctions 33 and 31 – the M18 joins at 32. So I went to the alternate route that I used to use to avoid the roadworks at Nottingham: down the A1 to North Muskham and then the A46 to join the M1 at Leicester. Once I got on the M1, there were lots of new cones in the Northampton area with a 50mph speed limit. Not good when running to a schedule. What was worse was that near Northampton, the Highway Agency had a couple of cars with flashing roof lights creating a rolling roadblock – five miles of that at ten miles an hour threw my plans straight out the window. By the time I had got to West Hounslow (where I park at weekends because it is free) at 04:55, it had taken me over four and a half hours to go 220 miles. I got the Piccadilly line eastwards, hoping that I could somehow get to Victoria before 05:44. I changed to the District line at South Kensington and got into the railway station at 05:40. Up on the Departures board they had 05:44 Brighton – platform 13. So I ran to the ticket machine, bought a ticket for Newhaven and ran to platform 13. What did I find? No train. I was informed by a member of staff that there was no train today but a replacement bus service. So I went to the ticket office to find out the details. It transpired that the three legs of the journey Victoria – Hayes, Hayes – Lewes and Lewes – Newhaven Harbour were now buses and the bus was not due to arrive in Newhaven in time to catch the feckin’ ferry. Somebody at Network Rail Enquiries is going to get a rocket up their arse. When I checked the train times on their website last week, there was no mention of engineering work on the line this weekend. Have Southern just conjured that up? The only good news today is that the guy in the Southern ticket office refunded my train ticket as there was obviously no point in using it. As well as the £48 petrol money, I will be charged for my hotel in Rouen because I could not give them 24 hours notice to cancel it (so that is €51), my ferry ticket (£23) is non-refundable, my train tickets from Dieppe to Rouen and Rouen to Paris are non-refundable (another €22) and the two flight tickets from Paris that I ended up with (Vueling £89.98, Air France £97.80) are non-refundable, although Vueling would let me change it to another date/time for a €17 fee. This is an understatement of what I currently look like: ABSOLUTELY FECKIN’ BALLISTIC RANT MODE OFF
Planes, Trains and Automobiles Why would you plan such a tortuous route in the first place? Was this to get to Longchamp for Arc Trials day? Why not just drive to Manchester and fly direct from there?
No one ever seems to mention Leeds Bradford airport? See it accommodates mostly low-cost airlines like Ryanair and Jet2. QMII, isn't there any way you can get to Paris via Leeds Bradford?
I am a proper tight-fisted northerner. I could have got a return flight with BA from Heathrow on Sunday but I am not paying over £300 for a return ticket to Paris to go to the races. Fortunately we do not live in an authoritarian Marxist regime yet, so we are free to decide whether we wish to pay £1,000 for a seat on a plane or £50 for a different seat on the same plane. I would have bought a Eurostar return ticket six months ago (what I have always tried to do in the past) for about £120 but they were not selling any tickets at all. Petrol to London would have been £48 no matter whether it be planes or trains. I used up £6.20 of credit on my Oyster card going West Hounslow to Victoria and back as well – normally that would be West Hounslow to Kings Cross/St Pancras. Last time I looked there was no service from Manchester that was viable – outbound leg too late, inbound leg too early or both; same with most other regional airports (e.g. Leeds, East Midlands). The drive to Manchester would save me half the petrol money so that I could spend it on car parking instead. The idea I had come up with was to go on the Saturday by ferry and have the day out in Dieppe, had to stay overnight in Rouen as no viable train on Sunday morning from Dieppe; and then fly home. The problem was that I ended up with two tickets because the Air France website told me that my attempt to buy a ticket had failed and when I switched to another airline I then got charged by Air France for a failed order at the same time as I got a confirmation for the other one. If Southern / National Rail had advertised the replacement bus service other than on a wipeboard at Victoria Station, I would have changed my plan and got the ferry from Portsmouth to Caen and a train from Caen to Paris. They are totally incompetent.
I am unclear why I would want to travel to ‘Eastern’ Nigeria. Do they have horseracing there? If I was travelling on business, I would expect my employer to pick up the tab. I would assume they would use the most direct and cost-effective approach if they wanted to stay in business. If I were going to Port Harcourt (home of the Nigerian Derby?), I would establish just who flies there (ironically Air France do according to the Wikipedia page for Port Harcourt International airport), when and at what cost. From this I would determine who provided the most practical service. With the distances involved, the only part of the journey not flown must be between home and the airport. Given the amount of corruption in Nigeria, there seems little point going to the Nigerian Derby as it is bound to be fixed. I presume you have been there on business rather than you just picking somewhere 3,000 miles away for fun. A search on CheapFlights website shows that I could get a ticket from something just over £600, but that is a little bit steep for a day at the races so I will be giving it a miss. A quick check on the map of Nigeria shows that Port Harcourt is actually in Southern Nigeria not Eastern Nigeria. I had to laugh at Google maps showing me the route to drive there from London across France, Spain, ferry to Algeria then via the Trans-Sahara Highway (total 4,393 miles) with the warning “Fastest route now, avoids road closures on M20”. There are four lots of roadworks in Nigeria, so I wonder if the 96 hour estimate is reliable.
So the nub is that there was no warning that there were engineering works? Couldn't agree more and it's pretty outrageous as I doubt you're the only one who was affected and am sure similar tales of woe will be circulating. Their communication channels are abysmal. I'm quite impressed with the fortitude though - simply planning that journey would be enough to twist ones brain!
There is one service I haven't seen you mention QM. In France it is worth looking at Blablacar. It's a fraction of the cost. Eg from Paris airport (choose one) to Saint Lo is about 24 Euros pp. so to Caen it would be less than that
In an integrated transport system this would have been easy, this is a result of markets meddling in natural monopolies, but you love your freedom so much that you love being ripped off for it!
QMII: Oh, just forget it, was just a bit of silly joshing on my part. The lengthy reply was not necessary. Was never a quick business trip as such, however. Lived and worked in eastern Nigeria in the '50's as a youngster, in Owerri, north of Port Harcourt. We always regarded PH to be eastern Nigeria in those days, although of course it is in the south too. Very much Ibu country. Never mind, forget it. Will not irritate you any more, that's the last time. Will make sure of that.
QMII's imitation of John Candy notwithstanding it will soon be time for me to consider my May 2019 trip for the Grand Steeplechase de Paris at Auteuil. Current imponderables: Date of race; likely to be Sunday 19th May ...... howdaf**k has the date not been posted on www.france-galop.fr yet! Paris hotel; do I splash out and stay at the Hotel Le Marcel (prices currently unavailable online) directly across from Gare de l'Est or do I stick to one of the many 'Ibis' around the two train stations. London hotel; again two choices, Premier Inn at Kings Cross or another 'splash' at the Doubletree by Hilton, Islington (good 3 night deal for members). Transport; assuming my past and recurring difficulties I am drawn to an Easyjet flight from Edinburgh to Paris on the Saturday followed by the Eurostar from Paris to London on the Thursday. After a short rest around Kings Cross/ St Pancras (3 nights) I would then catch the train north to Auld Reekie. Very reasonable rail fares for both journeys are bookable three months in advance. The Easyjet fares become available this coming Thursday. Certainly the above are not as convoluted as our co-respondent's and any missed trains would, as opposed to QMII's unfortunate trials for the 'Trials', be my own fault caused by ....... I need not explain to you, my friends.
Absolutely, my trip was torpedoed a week before without me knowing it I went on the National Rail website to plan my train times. I was supposed to be getting the 05:44 that arrived in Newhaven Harbour at 07:40. They must have known a week in advance about engineering works so why did they not disseminate that information? I went on theTrainLine.com to check the off peak fare - £23.80. No point paying a booking fee with them for the ticket because you save nothing - fixed price tickets. You can only save on advance tickets or by doing daft combinations. It was funny when I asked to get my ticket refunded as I was not taking the replacement bus service - the guy pressed the wrong button and nearly refunded my credit card with £28,300,000. I could have bought a plane! I will credit the long-suffering Southern Rail ticket office staff with doing their job well under duress - faced with a customer who I will euphemistically be describe as fuming!
There is no such thing as “natural monopolies”. In the dim and distant past, I remember travelling on British Rail. If you were lucky your train would run near enough to the timetable for you to make connections. What part of an integrated transport system includes half an hour in a rolling roadblock on the M1 at three in the morning? Is Corbyn offering free petrol? I am sure that would be a big winner until the Magic Money Forest had all been cut down to pay for it. Robbing Peter to pay Paul does seem to be the in thing though as even Justin Welby advocates it now. I do not love being ripped off. I look to avoid being ripped off. The reason I got stung for two plane tickets when I can only use one is because the Air France website is pants – I emailed and told them and they invited me to call customer services when it would have been better to put me, a 25+ year IT veteran, in touch with their web team!
a national rail network is a natural monopoly , works very well in european countries , cheap , efficient , on time , of course you prefer twenty five different prices , twelve different operators , a different company running the track , an d all the attendant problems of blame , the road network is no better , the wonder of pfi, the maintenance contracts that are dubiously shared among giant conglomerates who donate to tory party , same as nhs contracts given to those who donate , circle group iirc , you get the picture qm , unaccountablity , profiteering and market rigging , you are a bigger tool than i imagined if you think markets are free !!
German trains are state run and are expensive and unreliable. On most domestic routes it is quicker and cheaper to fly.
Used to take the Regional down to Salzburg often, not so much nowadays. Used to buy a 'Bayern Ticket', a real bargain (something like €15.00, there and back) and they used to throw-in Salzburg too (only just over the border). Always punctual, admittedly a slow 'stopper' but absolutely no hassle from the hundreds of tourists who seemed to jam-up the ICE express trains. Never any bother with Customs either way either. They would pounce quite often on the ICE arrivals in Munich, seal the whole platform off. Never once saw Customs or Immigration on the Regional service. But then of course, I was lucky enough to have all the time in the world, never in a hurry. but then came September, 2015, and a whole way of life changed dramatically, thanks to the then stupid open border policy of the Merkel government. Now she has the gall to tell us that the southern border with Austria must be strengthened, amongst other things. Politicians? Absolute tripe. Always found most airlines pretty good when I was working abroad. Was pretty selective wherever possible though. Lufthansa, the old Swissair, UTA, were among my favourites. Yes, UTA, they were A-OK for West Africa.
Supporters of publicly owned rail transport in the UK either forget, ignore or simply weren't around when British Rail were strutting their stuff back in the day. It was a truly awful way to travel.
Aaah, my old friend the 'Bayern Ticket'. Even as a 'sole' traveller the real value lies with the slightly more expensive 'Family' version for two adults and up to three sixteen (?) year olds. Bearing in mind Bavaria is about the same size as Scotland it is clear that these Regional Tickets are great value. I have to admit that the timekeeping on DB is not what it used to be. From the comparison chart above I would suggest DB comes out fairly well. Remember rail travel is city centre to city centre and does not require up to two hours arrival at the rail station before departure time. I would also ask if the air fares quoted include any charge for hold luggage which may be required.
