Cheese

If only it were that simple and fun sounding

 

Sounds like a painful memory.

 

I've got a small scar on my bell end after a 16 year old cow (I was 19) ****ed me rather ferociously and snapped my banjo string.

Shagged her after the incident too.

The pain was bearable until I shot my muck over her chest.

Managed to get to sleep, but when I awoke from my drunken slumber, and saw the aftermath......

Aaaaaaargh!!

 

EDGE how long does that take to repair itself?

Never happened to me but apparently there's some amount of blood from it

 

I had to go to hospital for an operation to fix it, thought I was getting Jew'd.

But they managed to stitch it back on.

The funny thing is when you need to show your cock to a doctor or nurse.

Normally when I'm flacid, it's quite long and girthy (so I've been told) but as soon as you need to get your cock out for medical reasons it shrivels up into closed cup mushroom.

Once I had to go for a chlymidia test and the ****ing evil nurse shove a cotton bud down my japseye THREE times!!

I had an inverted penis for about a week, it was the most uncomfortable experience that I've ever had.

 

Happened to my mate. He did have to get Jewed. Plus he had to wear a big Ghandi-nappy style bandage for a few days.

 

<coverseyes>

 

An operation!!! **** sake I thought it sorted itself

It's your own fault needing to get those sort of tests done for shagging all they wee dirties

 

Have you no snapped a few banjo strings in your time?

 

How's the weather up there Venom?

I stay in a 3 story detached house and I'm in the top flat just now and the house is wobbling about like Nevilles belly on the treadmill!

 

It's a bit ****ing wild. Been hiding inside all day. Went out to do some testing this morn and it was alright. Went up for my dinner there and popped outside for a wee look, the wind is mental on the west side. Could barely walk in it.

Not too much rocking yet but I think tonight is going to be mental. ****ing hate it when the seas get up on here.

 

Please stop talking about it. I just remember the blood.

 

Apparently a bus almost overturned on the expressway tonight because of the wind.

@ the Nev's belly bit. Quite funny, for you.

 

After 6 months of waiting for it to sort itself out, I gave up and went to the docs.

After the op, I tried to shag my missus, gf at the time, but the pain was horrific, I still wanted to cum, and had the most pathetic **** ever while kissing her love slot.

You shouldve seen the nick of this ****, holding the shaft and shaking it about trying to stimulate a jism out of it.

It worked nonetheless.