World Cup Comments: Viva ****housery and the most horribly brilliant tournament ever ****house n. /ˈʃɪthəʊs/ (vulgar slang, informal) 1. An outhouse, a usually permanent outbuilding containing a toilet or seat over a cesspit. 2. Someone who partakes in '****housing' - the noble of art of wilfully acting the ****. If you think the World Cup is purely about football, please stop reading. Quite frankly you make me sick. If you think the World Cup is *mostly* about football, fair ****s. That’s your prerogative. But know this - we can never be friends. And you're wrong. Football of the highest standard can be found in the Champions League each and every year. If that's your thing then fill your boots. Hark at the same teams playing the same games with mostly the same outcomes. Revel in wonderfully coached sides full of top quality players largely cancelling each other out. Drink in the technical excellence with Gazprom chasers. The World Cup isn't for that. The World Cup is an event you wait four long years for, which happens to feature football. What makes it so special is the clash of cultures and coming together of disparate nations in competition. The nominal medium is football, sure, but the biggest draw - on and off the pitch - is the sheer amount of ****housery abound. In that sense, it is not dissimilar to the Eurovision Song Contest, in that everyone knows that the singing competition has **** all to do with singing. You watch to take the piss, enjoy the over-the-top campness, and settle down to some seriously scandalous political voting. It's great fun. The World Cup is the same - it's one big messy bitch that lives for drama. There is a long and proud history of World Cup ****housery - the Battle Of Santiago, the Disgrace of Gijón, the Hand of God, and the Forehead of Zidane to name just a few. But this year's tournament is shaping up to be the ****iest one yet. We've not even reached the knockout stage yet and the sheer level of twatty behaviour has been an absolute joy to behold. Of course ****housery takes many forms, and they've all been evident in the past two weeks in Russia. If you're ever in doubt as to whether something qualifies, here's a helpful tip: any time any poe-faced broadsheet scribe or furrow-browed football pundit claims that 'no one wants to see such behaviour on a football pitch' - that's solid gold ****housery! What's been so impressive about this year's tournament is the sheer variety of bastardry. You've got your old classics, such as Pepe going down like a bag of spuds at the merest touch against Morocco; Neymar rolling around the pitch like a turd on a hill versus Costa Rica; and Mathias Jorgensen performing the most professional of fouls on Antoine Griezmann. But a number of innovative new acts of ****itude have advanced ****housery no end. Perhaps the most spectacular was Milad Mohammadi's needlessly acrobatic and ultimately abandoned somersault throw-in for Iran against Spain. It takes a special kind of ****house to attempt such look-at-me antics with only 30 seconds left to salvage a draw. What a legend. Thanks to VAR, miming ****houses can add pointing to the replay screen and tracing out TV outlines in the air to holding up imaginary cards to the referee. Although that pales into insignificance after Morocco’s Nordin Amrabat told the viewers at home that "VAR is bullshit" after Iago Aspas' late goal denied his country a famous victory against Spain. Of course the VAR system was meant to help eradicate grappling inside the area after the officials were told to clamp down on such behaviour. In the most part it has worked, with a number of penalties awarded from over-amorous marking. But that didn't stop Stephan Lichtsteiner and Fabian Schar getting away with WWE anticson Aleksandar Mitrovic. What is perhaps most heartwarming about the skullduggery on show is the emerging nations of nastiness. Of course you've got your old-school experts like Argentina, Portugal and Uruguay, but developing bastards are rapidly catching up. South Korea have been joyously twatty, whilst Iran and Tunisia have been wonderful discredits to their people. It would be remiss of me not to mention Panama at this juncture, after their breathtaking behaviour against England. Gareth Southgate's side may have won the game emphatically, but Los Canaleros were a breath of rancid air throughout - and more power to their sharpened elbows. A favourite moment was attempting to scorewhilst England celebrated another goal. Of course the ****housery hasn't been confined to the pitch. We all witnessed Vladimir Putin having a good old banter with Prince Mohammed bin Salman during the opening game, with Fifa president Gianni Infantino providing the filling in the **** sandwich. A few days later, banned former president Sepp Blatter rocked up - a personal guest of...Vladimir Putin. In the cheap seats too there's been rum goings-on. The most ruthless of which was when Socceroos legend Tim Cahill did everything in his power to pass his match-worn shirt to a group of excited Aussie youngsters...only for a brutish Peru fan to snatch it from their grasp. What's more, he had the brass neck to look annoyed at them for getting in his way! When all is said and done, we always turn to the greatest exponents of the craft - the ****house's ****houses. And there was a beautiful moment when arguably the two biggest twats in the game - Pepe and Diego Costa - clashed. It was the irresistible prick meeting the immoveable arsehole, and a tit-for-twat exchange of epic proportions. A long ball was launched in Costa's direction. With his side one-nil down, he knew this was a great opportunity to level the scores. But first, he had to do his duty and do a ****house. With Pepe in close quarters, he smacked a forearm into the Portuguese's throat; Pepe, responding in twatty kind, pretended he'd been struck in the forehead. Costa still had a lot of do if he was going to tie the scores, and Pepe had ample time to get up from his fake head injury and save the day, but such is his dedication to being a nobhead that he stayed down for far too long and Costa went on to score. It was a great finish in fairness, but who gives a **** about that? What had gone before was simply mesmerising. Here's to more ****housery to come. There's far more at stake in the knockout stages, so the higher stakes promise a bonanza of bastardness. It's been such a ****show that I didn't even mention Sergio Ramos or Diego Maradona. https://www.joe.co.uk/sport/world-c...ost-horribly-brilliant-tournament-ever-186307
England midfielder Fabian Delph is temporarily returning home from the World Cup in Russia as his wife is due to give birth to their third child.
That is, without a doubt, the finest summation of modern football I've ever read - it perfectly puts into words why a lot of fans have fallen out of love with the game. Bravo, whoever you are.
VAR so far - 335 incidents checked, 95% correct without VAR, 99.3% correct with VAR (14 decisions changed).
Correct according to who? They can dress it up all they like but it only changes it from **** to **** in a dress.
There's been some significant, game affecting decisions made right by VAR. I like it. Just need to start dishing out cards for surrounding the ref, and an instant red for any player making the ****ing TV shape with their fingers.
I know you hate it Ben, but just look at what VAR did to Germany. Without it, they might still be in the bloody tournament.
Sorry to mention that but Germany probably would be out of the tournament after their second game if game rules were working (doesn't matter with VAR or without).
Who still got stuff wrong. He doesn’t know all that’s been reviewed. They haven’t reviewed all they should They reviewed stuff they shouldn't have. This data is as fabricated as the stuff they released yesterday. It is 100% **** & 100% not an improvement for the game as a spectator sport.
I know you don't like it, but I think overall it's been great for the World Cup and you're going to have to get used to it, as it's here to stay.
They didn’t score, they’d have gone home anyway. Look what it did to Serbia. We’d have won our group if they used it properly. Review every decision, incident & appeal & reveal which rule they are using & how they are interpreting the rule when coming to their decision. Most handballs have been wrong Assaults in the box have gone ignored Goals have been incorrectly given. Players should have walked but have stayed on. Most discussions have been about VAR getting it right or wrong. It should never be wrong. If it’s ever wrong then it’s no improvement & not fit for purpose. Pundits have discussed it getting stuff right, it’s what it’s there for. It’s like discussing the net containing the ball after a goal. “The ball hit the back of the net & stayed there. I’m really happy the net did what it was supposed to do & we should commend the net for doing so” It’s a farce & detrimental to the enjoyment of the paying punters.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-cup/2018/06/29/ranking-32-teams-group-stage/ This guy...... Don't agree on alot of those rankings Contradicts himself all over as well
It's another step towards the ****isation of football. Just like the 5=4=3=2=1=! countdown that crowds have started doing in Russia On the positive side, it's good to see the old-fashioned focusing of the camera on a pretty lass in the crowd so reminiscent of tv from various European countries of the last century.
