1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2401
    neveroffsidereff likes this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    Four guys have been going on the same golfing trip to St. Andrews for many years.

    Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
    Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do? The 3 of them decide to go without Jack.
    Two days later, the three get to St. Andrews and, to their surprise, Jack is sitting at the bar with four drinks set up!

    "Wow, Jack, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

    "Well, I've been here since last night," says Jack. "Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.

    She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. It turns out she's been reading '50 Shades of Grey'.

    So on the bed she has handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
    And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

    So....... Here I am!
     
    #2402
    mustyfrog and neveroffsidereff like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    I’ve finally opened
    The last door on my
    Diane Abbot advent calendar.
     
    #2403
    Taffvalerowdy likes this.
  4. mustyfrog

    mustyfrog Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2011
    Messages:
    27,790
    Likes Received:
    10,793
    A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
    The nun agreed...
    A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
    The nun replied, "He went that way."
    After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria."
    The nun said, "I understand completely."
    The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
    The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don't want to go to Syria either."
     
    #2404
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    Watching the World Cup and this idiot decides to advertise my Wi-Fi password!

    please log in to view this image
     
    #2405
    neveroffsidereff likes this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2406
  7. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    22,650
    Likes Received:
    38,167
  8. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    29,985
    Likes Received:
    35,588
    #2408
    Wooperts_duck and swantastic like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2409
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2410
    swantastic and neveroffsidereff like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2411
    neveroffsidereff likes this.
  12. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    29,985
    Likes Received:
    35,588
    Looks like Katie Price!! :)
     
    #2412
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,991
    Likes Received:
    235,185
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2413
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2414
    Rum & Black for 2 likes this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2415
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    Doctors have told me I only have 6 months to live, 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
     
    #2416
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    Even Ronaldo needs a hero.......

    please log in to view this image
     
    #2417
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2418
    neveroffsidereff likes this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2419
    neveroffsidereff likes this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,367
    Likes Received:
    298,411
    Finally, the 2018 edition of "Understanding Women" has been released. Vol. 2 follows shortly.

    please log in to view this image
     
    #2420
    neveroffsidereff likes this.

Share This Page