Transfer Rumours Gareth Bale

Got it in one, my son.


I like it when lads like you take me seriously, and don't look to wum at every god damn opportunity.

Thanks, mate.

 

So... you want a guy who stuck the middle finger up to you to go to another club he stuck the middle finger up to, only for him to return to you? Personally, I think he's going to stick the middle finger up to that n' all

 

Woodward: Hi I'd like to submit a £100m bid for Gareth Bale.

Real Madrid: Hang on.

Real Madrid: Hi is that Levy? Yeah hi mate as per the contract you get first dibs on Bale, United have bid 100 mil.

Levy: Would you take 6 mil?

Real Madrid: Look here you little crow faced gimp, get real or we will rip this contract up and shove it up your fart pipe lad.

Levy: ok ok ok, I'll pay the £100m

Real Madrid: Right.... Ed Danny has matched your bid lad so he gets first dibs.

Woodward: ok let me know when the deal falls apart with wages.

Levy: Hi Gareth... nice to hear your voice mate... so name your price pal and we'll bring you home to our wonderful new stadium.... hello? Gareth?.... bloody phone.... signal full bars.... Gaz you there lad???

Real Madrid: Ed lad, any chance of De Gea coming as part of the deal?

Woodward: Just send the lad on a plane to Manchester pal, stop embarrassing yourself.

Levy: Hi Woy lad, how much for Wilfy?

 

That isn't funny, Tel.

 

Sounds like it actually happened to me

 

^^^ This is the finest example of Spud delusion that you have ever posted.


Apart from your Bale won’t go post.


And the Modric won’t go post.



Oh and the Berbatov won’t go post.



And the Kane will stay for less money and no medals post.

 

It'll be a lot shorter conversation imo. After RM tell Levy about the 100m from United...

Levy: "Nice, how much of that do I Spurs get?"

The End

 

That was Cliff Jones, not me.

I said he wouldn't go to Chelsea. I was correct.

I never made any comment on here about that. You're now making **** up.

That's Kane talking, not me.

Honestly, mate! You're worse than Pixie at this!

 

Christ...And I thought the geezer who wrote the Four Candles sketch was a comedy genius

 

My mate Horace has a dog. He is walked by a professional dog walker called Tarquin Farquar the Third. Tarkers is mates with Bartholomew who is a semi professional cage fighter but his day job is bikini waxing the rich and famous.
His boss, Orthello, was having a intimate internal probing (after a game involving his wife, their bridge club, all their nannies, a bucket of soapy water, rubber waders, jersey royal potatoes and a dozen frogs went horribly wrong) by a Dr Who was good friends with the ex Chelsea medic.
She says that Bale is staying at Madrid cos Ronaldo is leaving but is refusing to go back to United cos he thinks Jose is being ****ish to Luke Shaw!

@Matth_2014 don't shoot the messenger

 

More crap I see.

 

Not a chance of that happening on my opinion, If he’s leaving Real Madrid, still be to United personally.

 

He owes you lot nothing.

 

Or Moyes.

 

Hope not
Mourinho would ruin him like every other utd player who plays with a little bit if flair. He’s the magnolia of managers.

 

It’s hilariously funny fat lad, Tel has a sense of humour and you don’t.

 

^^^ Rattled that his delusion bubble has been popped.

The only way that Bale will go back to Spurs will be when he is 35, his knees will be totally ****ed, and no-one else wants him.

 

You don’t know Cliff Jones for starters plus you talk ****e.

 

you can be quitehurtful sometimes

 

I`d love him back at Spurs but I doubt Levy will find the funds required, he will probably end up at Moneybags United in my opinion, which hopefully frees up Martial to come to Spurs.