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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3181
    kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2018
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3182
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 23, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3183
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 23, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3184
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 23, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3185
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 23, 2018
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3186
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 23, 2018
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Disgusted to hear that despite of the recent fiasco of DHL failing to deliver KFC products that they have now gone and won the Cadburys contract, great timing just before Easter!

    Problem is they now don't know what to deliver first.. The chicken or the egg!
     
    #3187
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 23, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3188
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 23, 2018
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  9. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator Forum Moderator

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    That's not real is it?
     
    #3189
    San Diego, Feb 24, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    No idea, but probably true !
     
    #3190
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3191
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2018
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3192
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3193
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3194
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    • A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down.
    • The garage doesn"t open until morning so they have to spend the night in a B&B. It only has one room available.
    • The priest says: "Sister, I don"t think the Lord would object if we spend the night sharing this one room. I"ll sleep on the sofa and you have the bed."
    • "I think that would be fine," agrees the nun.
    • They prepare for bed, say some prayers and settle down to sleep.
    • Ten minutes pass, and the nun says: "Father, I"m very cold.
    • ""OK," says the priest, "I"ll get a blanket from the cupboard."
    • Another ten minutes pass and the nun says again: "Father, I"m still terribly cold
    • ."The priest says: "Don"t worry, I"ll get up and fetch you another blanket.
    • "Another ten minutes pass, then the nun murmurs softly: "Father I"m still very cold. I don"t think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for a night."
    • "You"re right," says the priest. "Get your own blankets."
     
    #3195
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    • Little billy put his hand up said to the teacher,hey teach i want a piss,
    • Teacher replies billy you must say i need a number one,
    • bit later billy puts his hand up again and says teach i want a sh*t,
    • Teacher says no billy you must say i need a number two,
    • anyway later little Johny put his hand up and says to the teacher, it's not for me but Billy, he wants to fart but doesn't know the code number.
     
    #3196
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2018
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    • The spot where Marc Bolan died has, over the years, grown into a shrine to his memory with fans from all over the world leaving flowers and momentos.
    • A recent meeting of the local council decided it would be appropriate to place a permanent memorial at the site.
    • After due consideration it was decided to erect a simple sign.
    • On one side it reads "This sign commemorates the spot where Marc Bolan met his tragic death".
    • The other side says "WARNING - TREE !"
     
    #3197
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 25, 2018
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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3198
    kiwiqpr, Feb 25, 2018
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    “I told you it was hunting season Jean but nooooo, we had to go visit your sister at the lake.”
     
    #3199
    kiwiqpr, Feb 25, 2018
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  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    So on Kings Heath High Street we have a Specsavers inbetween a Lloyds’ Pharmacy and a Greggs.
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    Yes, that’s right: Specs and Drugs and Sausage Rolls.
     
    #3200
    kiwiqpr, Feb 25, 2018
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Page 160 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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