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The First Date

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ScotlandFanMuir, Aug 25, 2011.

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  1. ScotlandFanMuir

    ScotlandFanMuir Well-Known Member

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    Come on then all you romantics.

    I imagine most of you old ****s are married (even ER) so what did you do all those years ago as a 'first date'?

    Judging by some of the posts on here recently, I'm frightened of the responses <doh>

    I've got one on Saturday...... And no, I'm not planning on raping her <ok>
     
    #1
    ScotlandFanMuir, Aug 25, 2011
  2. SaintsForTheWin

    SaintsForTheWin Any holes a goal

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    My first date when I was 14. Only a decade ago <ok> Went to the cinema, it was pretty gash to be fair.

    Take her out for a nice meal and you won't need to rape her.
     
    #2
    SaintsForTheWin, Aug 25, 2011
  3. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Went for an Italian meal, went dancing then ended up shagging on Ayr beach <ok>
     
    #3
    The Raging Oxter, Aug 25, 2011
  4. ScotlandFanMuir

    ScotlandFanMuir Well-Known Member

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    You classy bastard. The closest I'll get to beach sex is the bunker at the local golf course <ok>

    I'm surprised she shagged you after dancing though ya big ****.
     
    #4
    ScotlandFanMuir, Aug 25, 2011
  5. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    I took my current wife to the pub, and go not more than a single kiss at the end of the night. Classy bird my missus, took me 5 weeks to get her into bed. Or maybe it was just my ineptitude.
     
    #5
    Jip Jaap Stam, Aug 25, 2011
  6. ScotlandFanMuir

    ScotlandFanMuir Well-Known Member

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    Or maybe it was because you possessed the same amount of charm as a frozen chicken?
     
    #6
    ScotlandFanMuir, Aug 25, 2011
  7. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    Its a load of bollocks.

    Just tell her to **** off Muir. Less expensive.
     
    #7
    RAVENBLACK, Aug 25, 2011
  8. Jobby Funbags

    Jobby Funbags Guest

    I was similar to this - not necessarily because my wife is classy - more because she was my mate and I didn't want to lose a pal by shoving a hand down her scants.
     
    #8
    Jobby Funbags, Aug 25, 2011
  9. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    At least frozen chickens dont take you to the cleaners. Unless they spill on your suit of course.
     
    #9
    RAVENBLACK, Aug 25, 2011
  10. ScotlandFanMuir

    ScotlandFanMuir Well-Known Member

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    Tight bastard. Obviously you don't have a wife or a monoblocked garden like Rocket <ok>
     
    #10
    ScotlandFanMuir, Aug 25, 2011

  11. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    I kind of suggested that myself <ok>
     
    #11
    Jip Jaap Stam, Aug 25, 2011
  12. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    I am married Muir.

    Thats why im skint.

    Take my advice sonny and stick to ****ing. It costs nothing :emoticon-0103-cool:
     
    #12
    RAVENBLACK, Aug 25, 2011
  13. SaintsForTheWin

    SaintsForTheWin Any holes a goal

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    Tissue costs money unless you fire into your own mouth.
     
    #13
    SaintsForTheWin, Aug 25, 2011
  14. ScotlandFanMuir

    ScotlandFanMuir Well-Known Member

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    It must have gotten better from then though?! If I could get away with a trip to the pub I'd do the same <laugh>

    ER, it's not too late to pull out yet though old timer, we can go out clubbing <ok>
     
    #14
    ScotlandFanMuir, Aug 25, 2011
  15. ScotlandFanMuir

    ScotlandFanMuir Well-Known Member

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    Or unlesss you have a dog <ok>
     
    #15
    ScotlandFanMuir, Aug 25, 2011
  16. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    No, it didn't get any better. We got married. Why can't you get away with a trip to the pub? Is she royalty or something?
     
    #16
    Jip Jaap Stam, Aug 25, 2011
  17. SaintsForTheWin

    SaintsForTheWin Any holes a goal

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    A free blowey from the pet <ok>
     
    #17
    SaintsForTheWin, Aug 25, 2011
  18. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    You don't just wipe your cock on the curtains? How decadent.
     
    #18
    Otto Flayshow, Aug 25, 2011
  19. ScotlandFanMuir

    ScotlandFanMuir Well-Known Member

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    Sounds grim as **** mate <laugh> <ok>

    A trip to the pubs where I stay is risking thy life. McDonalds for a happy meal is cheaper <ok>
     
    #19
    ScotlandFanMuir, Aug 25, 2011
  20. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    Clubbing??? The only clubbing i will be doing will be in Canada!
     
    #20
    RAVENBLACK, Aug 25, 2011
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