Was out pickpocketing last night, as I do every tuesday, I head up the toon and hang around crowds waiting for easy pickings. I dont do this for a living, just for the buzz, to practice my skills and to relieve drunken idiots of their belongings. Pickpocketing is just like business, its the art of taking a mans money without resorting to violence and because my victims are all drunk, they deserve it, thus giving me the moral high ground. I only ever skillfully rob people who look like c_nts, if you look decent I will merely take your wallet, give you it back and tell you to be more careful. Of course, not everyone can be done, I stealthily watch for any idioits brazenly flashing phones or wallets and putting them into back pockets or side pockets of jackets. Little tip, the front pockets of jeans or any trousers are the hardest to steal from, its actually easier to lift from an inside pocket of jacket than the front pockets of trousers. Keep your phones/wallets in front pockets at all times and most pickpockets will look elsewhere. Its so simple at the best of times, a simple nudge on the shoulder is sufficent that the brain does not feel a smooth lift from a back pocket. If you hit your right leg quite hard and tap your left, you can barely feel the tap on the left. The only reason you can feel the tap at all is because your brain knows its coming. When the mark is drunk, its like taking drill bits out of Bills Toolstore with a pair of overalls tied round your waist and tucked into workie boots ie f_ckin piss easy. Anyway, I was fortunate enough to lift over £300 and an Iphone within a half hour and was wondering if anyone wants to buy an Iphone? Looks brand new and I will take £40 for it.
I dont like it when swear words are censored by the forum and you dont know what word it was the person used.
thats why i started writing stuff funny, so for example feck off as the *'s annoy me of course st thought it proved i was scottish when i wrote baws or something
