Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

OLM will be on your case for bringing politics into the thread.

 

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Fake.













If it'd have been real, the cat would have pushed it.



****s that they are.

 

If I could do photo shop ,I'd have Dougal instead of the cat.

 

Or just be sick all over it... The ****s them.

 

The love story of Ralph and Edna...
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

 

It's OK, Trump says he his a bigger button than him, and his works.

 

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!," St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

 

Just looking at some pics of the Gorballs in the 40's in the mail. Interested to know what the machine is? Any ideas lads?

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Roasting spuds or chestnuts?

 

It looks like it's got a free range doner kebab on top of it ernie.
I was thinking its some. Sort of tarmacer maybe

 

Bollocks to the machine Chazz, what about the ghost looking out through the window?

 

So sterling was right...

 

When was he ever wrong?

 

What about the ghost in the machine?

 

The Falcon looks like a right up market establishment.

 

Or a bag of coal on top.

Definitely either roasting chestnut or Spuds I would say.

As a matter of interest I bought some roast chestnuts here from a not dissimilar looking machine, well the person selling them, they were really nice.

 

Nah, it’s not hanging around a road sign at 3am.

 

I reckon it's a bag of coke (or coal?) and that the chestnut idea could be right.