Off Topic The Burly Arms

No reason to get excited mate.

Hiag has been gigging tonight but he's such a Merc enthusiast and I'm hoping he'll share some pictures of his cars with us.

 

You live in a hotel in Bristol during the week making up stories about French restaurants, dildos and cars.

All by your own admission.

It’s ****ing tragic fella.

 

So does he really gig or is this another one of his bullshit stories?

 

Genuine answer, no mate. Not for a second.

But you're still right up there as one of my favourite posters!

 

I live in Bristol?

Do I?

How do you know that, Stan?

I never dine in restaurants, French or otherwise? How do you know that, Stan?

Where am I at this precise moment?

 

Yes mate, I think he does. Genuinely.

Because Sky said so, and I believe him.

 

That depends on which version you wish to believe, brb.

If you want to believe it, you'll tell yourself it's all true.

If, for whatever reason, you do not wish to believe it, then you will convince yourself that it's bullshit.

The real question you should be asking yourself is, why should it matter to you either way?

 

I suspect that at this precise moment you are in your studio apartment posting fantasy stories on the interweb while your missus is DP’d by your landlords.

 

There was a superb series of posts, on a thread far, far way, over which I completely ripped Pixie a new arsehole on guitar technique and music theory.

He tried to wum me. To say that he failed miserably would be a massive understatement.

Even the usual fcukwits who support him kept well at bay.

I had immense fun with that thread.

We came very close, in that thread, to my revealing who I am.

Not that that should change anything about the way we interact on this (football) forum.

(By the way, lads, I've had a tank full of booze, so please forgive me if the BS content is higher than usual).

 

Because you inevitably end up getting hysterical, start leaving threads, threaten legal action and announce you’re going to call the cops.

 

Oh.

So, I have a wife, yeah?

How do you know that, Stan?

And I am a tenant, living in a studio apartment?

Again, I am intrigued as to how this was revealed to you?

****!

It's as though you have opened a portal into my life! You are so accurate!

For an estate agent, you are one smart cookie. That gift is rare in estate agents, Stan. Your mother must be proud of you, yeah?

 

When did any of that actually happen, though, Stan?

Please let me have the exact date.

 

Thanks, mate.


Genuine reply...

I am the biggest piss-taker you will ever meet.

To my friends (in the real World) I am very generous.

 

Now that's beneath you hiag.

We'd already achieved a reasonable conclusion to the mercs crap but you just couldn't help yourself could you.

You just had to post another get out when there was no need.

Never mind mate.

We can all start a new chapter tomorrow.

 

@brb is there a way to gold plate, frame and, generally, protect for posterity Tragic’s posts from this evening?

 

I'm sure you are pal. I don't doubt that for a second.

After all, that would be a dreadful lie to make, that's why I believe you.

You have a good Christmas mate!

 

So HiaG do you play in a band?

 

You, too, Burly.

After your kind words, you are now my best mate on this board.

Honest.

 

Do you want me to, mate?

 

Genuine question. The guys take the piss and say you gig, so i'm asking if it's true, if you don't want to answer fair enough.