The Ballyclare Bulletin has obtained leaked material from sources unknown, alleging that an imminent outpouring of "Fake News" from one President Chump, formerly known as The Pontiff, is about to be dumped onto an innocent and unsuspecting Leeds board with malice ( who the f*** is malice?) aforethought. All readers are advised that in spite of assertions, claims and sworn affidavits to the contrary, Leeds posters should treat his spurious and unwarranted slanders with disdain: Santa has not been breathalysed for DIC in respect of a sleigh laden with "Glory is our hero, so they are" scarves for all the children. A certain Mr N Whitejock does not wear furry lined pants under his kilt in the winter, except in the hoose. Reports that Chesh's bedroom walls are covered in sheepskin rugs are unfounded, despite his joint NZ/Welsh nationality. And he has categorically never been on Ovoid Tinder. Ever. Elland is absolutely not desperately trying to escape the honourable trade of Estate Agency to pursue his ultimate dream of becoming a Football Agent. Marcos is not under any circumstances agreeing to take on a long-term joint lease with Leeds Lover to share a flat like the Odd Couple. Shako has never agreed to forego all access to alcoholic beverage in return for a guarantee of Leeds promotion, to a Dublin Shamen, although the smoking sticks were impressive. 2020 Leeds has never agreed to become Theresa May's lover and secret aide and confidante in getting Britain OTF from the EU. It is NOT true that OLOF keeps a signed photo of Margaret Thatcher under his bed, wrapped in an Orange sash. Farsley has not agreed to fly to Australia to go on a blind date with Brissi, ever. ELM knows more about cricket then he does about football.... Apparently President Chump is about to make further allegations guys, over to you.... Merry Christmas!!
Stop Press: News from the 2017 NOT606 awards held last Saturday: The-Don was up for a 2017 Mod award! ..... although he allegedly refused to accept The Scarlet Pimpernel award unless the word 'Scarlet' was deleted. LL won the No Malice award! ..... and is still reading out his acceptance speech even though the audience left 5 days ago. At the end of the night, Shako won the Poster of the Year award ..... but refused to leave the bar to go onstage to accept his award
Scum reportedly took a different approach to their Xmas Big Night Out this year. Hopefully there were many injuries ....
Another little FB gem i had to share (well, made me laugh anyway) ... My language was ****in' awful when I was a wee girl. One Xmas eve I asked my dad "What's fat arse bringing me tonight?" My dad said "What did you just say?" I said " What's father ****ing Christmas bringing me tonight? " My dad replied " You'll be lucky if you get anything using language like that". Anyhoo, unknown to me, my dad went to the garden centre and filled my stocking with manure he bought... On Xmas morning my brothers and sisters opened their presents and my dad looked over at me and asked "Well, what did he leave you?" I replied.... " I think it was a wee horse... But it's ****ed off now!"
A chap told me about this at ER today. Thought I'd share it as a few of us are getting to that age ... http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/man_...f-man-utd-lives-on-from-beyond-the-grave.html
