Did Nigel See This Coming?

Get chopping - you're in!!

 

You've got a leg tattoo holding it all together DBT - on that score - you're in.

 

I have suffered past injuries playing football which include a broken nose, broken arm, broken ankle and a broken big toe. All healed and I'm good to go.

 

You sound like the fittest of the lot fella.

 

I'm worried about the amount of hip and joint replacements in the team

 

Just wondered, How many of you can get up from the settee without making a horrible groaning noise?

 

That's a given prerequisite. No creaks and groans then no room in the team

 

When I was 26 I played in a merchant seamans World Cup in holland. No cream was used in this competition. I worked on the Norland, we were England, it was a competition between ships from around the world, 16 teams, 4 groups, 1 winner from each, semi final and a final, on the way to Rotterdam we all got pissed up and had a punch up on the Norwave the night before. Next day we we're still ****ing drunk. The first game was against Russia, absolutely ****ing hungover we we're 2 nil down after 10 minutes but managed to eventually get a 2-2 draw. We eventually won the whole ****ing thing, World Cup winners, but for some ****ing reason P and O decided not to let us defend the trophy the next year.. bastards...At that age I was a striker but over the years i got further back on the pitch untill I ended up a goalie. The only bag I have now has my piss in it and my boots don't have studs, but I'll bet I could still get a better tackle in than some of our shower of ****. I have a World Cup winners medal, but Don't have boot, don't have knees but will travel...

 

One balls bigger than the other, so I can't jump as high if I'm launching from the wrong foot.

 

Stokells only got one leg!! So he's definitely in centre midfield.

 

Can he get 'megged'?

 

Actually I still play football regularly*

It was only three games ago that I ruptured my planta fascia (that hard thing under your foot that keeps your arch in shape). The pain was lessened by the consultant telling me that it’s the type of injury you only really see in elite athletes!...but anyway I’m ready to play already after a full recovery

* To be fair as my regular game takes place once a year I have had three years to recover!

 

Thought that was your shoe?

 

Three years recovery? That's quicker than some of our players.

 

He knows a good Dr.

Unlike HullcityTigers who have a Dr. who isn't.

 

The fingers are bent that bad I have a choice of eight I could happily get rid of. If I played in eight games I just couldn’t take throw ins !

 

Don’t worry Bob we will need a ball boy !

 

When I worked on the fish dock the company I worked for had a Russian ship in King George Dock for fitting out with a new fish factory. A guy who worked for us used to be on City's books and managed to get us the use of Fer Park to play a game against the Russian crew. Great night it was, which we won comfortably, and I managed to score in the South stand end.

 

Did you knee slide towards the corner flag?