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Off Topic The Anti Christmas Thread

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Dec 5, 2017.

  1. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    To bring some balance... what pisses you off the most about Xmas.

    Things that get on my tits...

    1- Glitter on cards and wrapping paper getting everywhere.
    2- Mars- They make celebrations tubs and have shrunk the tubs every year since launch thinking folk won't realise
    3- Novelty Reindeer antlers
     
    #1
  2. Rum & Black for 2

    Rum & Black for 2 Champion’s League Prediction League Champion Forum Moderator

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    Anti Christmas threads...

    <grr>
     
    #2
  3. RobEllious

    RobEllious Well-Known Member

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    Secret Santa's. Doesn't matter who I get they're all getting the cheapest bottle of wine I can find
     
    #3
  4. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

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    Dates. I'm sure when I was a kid my mum dragged out the same box of the disgusting things every year, and no sod ever ate them. Like who decided a packet of shrivelled camel turds was ever a Christmas treat?
     
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  5. Blacker-than-Knight

    Blacker-than-Knight Slainte

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    Marley was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. ACS signed it. And ACS's name was good upon 'Change for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a doornail.
     
    #5
  6. KazakhToon

    KazakhToon Well-Known Member

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  7. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    People who ask if you are 'all set?' No I'm not that organised <grr>
     
    #7
  8. Judge Death

    Judge Death Well-Known Member

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    The biggest trauma is doing "normal" things - just wanted to but some socks in M&S this week and stuck in a queue for bloody ages
     
    #8
  9. G4rdToonArmy

    G4rdToonArmy Well-Known Member

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    Children - to much shrieking, attention needed and noise while I'm trying to get my post Xmas meal nap in.

    Just go stick that fork in the plug socket and see what happens kids.
     
    #9
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  10. G4rdToonArmy

    G4rdToonArmy Well-Known Member

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    And this! And all Christmas music. Where is the pop punk Christmas number one?

     
    #10
  11. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    And don't start me on that asda Xmas advert. Theyve almost put me off Fleetwood Mac for life <grr>
     
    #11
  12. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    Here you go Dorty, keep the faith.

     
    #12
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  13. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    Now we're flying Dorty.

     
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  14. General Lee Speaking

    General Lee Speaking Well-Known Member

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    Aye, my weekly trip to deposit cash at the post office took an eternity yesterday because of all the twats wanting post cards and parcels.
     
    #14
  15. General Lee Speaking

    General Lee Speaking Well-Known Member

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    Ditto on glitter. Should be banned.
     
    #15
  16. Judge Death

    Judge Death Well-Known Member

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    #16
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  17. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    Beelin!
     
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  18. Lord Jonjomort

    Lord Jonjomort Well-Known Member

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    Right, here's your solution;

    Take some decent sized medjool dates. Slit them to take out the stone then leave them open (but not completely halved). In a mini food processor (or just chop the fck out of it) put some Chorizo or Nduja, cream cheese, parmesan cheese and blitz. Take little bits of this mix, and put it where the stone was. Close the date, then wrap it in some smoked streaky bacon - about half a thin rasher per date. Secure it with a toothpick and bake.

    You're welcome.
     
    #18
  19. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    <laugh> You're welcome <laugh>

    The above looks like a variant on devils on horseback. Just make sure you don't chop your fingers off with all that chopping.
     
    #19
  20. Rum & Black for 2

    Rum & Black for 2 Champion’s League Prediction League Champion Forum Moderator

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    Is this instead of an arsenic tablet?

    :emoticon-0107-sweat
     
    #20
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