1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Any good jokes about yesterday?

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by ronson333, Aug 21, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 1 of 2
  1. ronson333

    ronson333 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    219
    Likes Received:
    5
    After a summer of rebuilding, Steve Bruce was asked how far he was away from a good side, he said ... 13 miles!
     
    #1
    ronson333, Aug 21, 2011
  2. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    74,147
    Likes Received:
    40,359
    oxo are releasing a limited edition gravy just for Sunderland... it's called a laughing stock...
     
    #2
    Albert's Chip Shop, Aug 21, 2011
  3. AH

    AH Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    11,239
    Likes Received:
    20
    Not NUFC ones but football ones anyway...

    I bought some "magic mushrooms" that apparently give you the most bizarre hallucinations.

    They must be really good because I was watching Match Of The Day and Heskey scored.



    Arsene Wenger: "I won't quit"

    That's not the French spirit.
     
    #3
    AH, Aug 21, 2011
  4. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    47,442
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Maybe he's hoping to get the bullet and a nice little pay off, that's the French spirit!
     
    #4
    Agent Bruce, Aug 21, 2011
  5. ronson333

    ronson333 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    219
    Likes Received:
    5
    O/t, a good cricket one was:

    McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball.

    McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?"

    Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I f*ck your wife, she gives me a biscuit."

    Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.
     
    #5
    ronson333, Aug 21, 2011
  6. Beatski

    Beatski Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    5,681
    Likes Received:
    45
    Oh ****, Big Brother's back again."

    Said Ryan Giggs as he climbed into the wardrobe.
     
    #6
    Beatski, Aug 21, 2011
  7. Paco Montoya

    Paco Montoya Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    2,672
    Likes Received:
    26
    I was going to book transfer deadline day off but then I remembered that I support Everton.

    <laugh>
     
    #7
    Paco Montoya, Aug 21, 2011
  8. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    47,442
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    The batsmans Holding the bowlers Willey.
     
    #8
    Agent Bruce, Aug 21, 2011
  9. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    47,442
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Heard a few like that, but not that one. <laugh>
     
    #9
    Agent Bruce, Aug 21, 2011
  10. Paco Montoya

    Paco Montoya Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    2,672
    Likes Received:
    26
    Sky news reports rioting in Sunderland. Looters from Newcastle have got in to the Stadium of Light and taken the only thing worth taking - the piss.
     
    #10
    Paco Montoya, Aug 21, 2011

  11. goldie

    goldie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2011
    Messages:
    7,384
    Likes Received:
    246
    This one is actually good
     
    #11
    goldie, Aug 21, 2011
  12. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    12,172
    Likes Received:
    71
    Bruce is set to clinch a last minute deal for Frankie Dettori, only chance he's got of winning The Derby
     
    #12
    Gutierrez's Right Boot, Aug 21, 2011
  13. Geordie Gashead

    Geordie Gashead Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    2,202
    Likes Received:
    0
    Steve Bruce is a fat ****

    ^You have to think about it. Pretty clever.
     
    #13
    Geordie Gashead, Aug 21, 2011
  14. P.T.N

    P.T.N Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    3,562
    Likes Received:
    3
    <laugh> <laugh>
     
    #14
    P.T.N, Aug 22, 2011
  15. Beatski

    Beatski Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    5,681
    Likes Received:
    45
    they're the two top jokes on sickipedia (i only know, because after seeing this thread, i immediately went on there to see if there were any good jokes i could pass off as my own)
     
    #15
    Beatski, Aug 22, 2011
  16. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    12,172
    Likes Received:
    71
    I was driving home last night when I came across a multi-car pile up. I pulled over to see if I could help and Steve Bruce was there. I said to him "you alright mate? your face is a ****ing mess."

    turns out he wasn't in the accident and had just pulled over to help out
     
    #16
    Gutierrez's Right Boot, Aug 22, 2011
  17. AH

    AH Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    11,239
    Likes Received:
    20
    Really? Bastards <grr> Admittedly I heard them through the grapevine earlier and I copied them from some other people but now it just looks like I was lazy and went straight to sikipedia <laugh>
     
    #17
    AH, Aug 22, 2011
  18. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    12,172
    Likes Received:
    71
    Sunderland boss Steve Bruce has said his players are excited about the prospect of European Football next season. After all, they've never been to Swansea before

    Sickipedia
     
    #18
    Gutierrez's Right Boot, Aug 22, 2011
  19. Paco Montoya

    Paco Montoya Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    2,672
    Likes Received:
    26
    Yeah, who does that :bandit:
     
    #19
    Paco Montoya, Aug 22, 2011
  20. AH

    AH Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    11,239
    Likes Received:
    20
    <laugh>

    Good joke source though!
     
    #20
    AH, Aug 22, 2011
Page 1 of 2
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page