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Off Topic Who's sock account is the Village Bike?

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Tobes, Nov 9, 2017.

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Who's sock is the Village Bike

  1. HIAG

  2. Luv

  3. Tobes

  4. Skid Marks

  5. Stan

  6. AN other - please name

  7. Don't be daft she's just a real slapper from the Valleys

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  1. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    I have to buy new ones every other year or so.
     
    #121
  2. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    That’s disgusting mate, especially after you’ve admitted that you **** off into your socks.
     
    #122
    Milk not bear jizz likes this.
  3. Big Ern

    Big Ern Lord, Master, Guru & Emperor

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    I don't know if he specifically said they were his socks he beat off into.
     
    #123
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  4. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    <laugh> Actually I think it was his Mum's flannel. Depraved ****er.
     
    #124
  5. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    I do hope that's not a euphemism <yikes>
     
    #125
  6. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and let him just claim that it was her cotton flannel
     
    #126
  7. Right. Let's get one thing very clear.

    I have not, and do not jizz into socks, whether my own or anyone else's.

    When I mentioned about "****ing into a sock," it was a light-hearted, throw-away comment, and was, in no manner, shape or form self-referential. I was referring to the habit that "someone might have" of ****ing into a sock.

    Having cleared up that particular matter, I would also like to make it clear that I have never, at any time in the past, nor do I intend, at any time in the future, to finger a dildo. Or any other sexual aid, for that matter. That particular comment was, once again, a casual, throw-away comment that I made whilst engaging in banter with Pixie. Indeed, the comment was born out of the suggestion that Pixie owned (or, at the very least, managed) a seedy sex shop in some grimy backstreet, and that he was, in fact, the one who fingered dildos.

    Regular posters to this board will know that every word I write is the truth, but I am concerned that the casual observer may be given the wrong impression of me, which may, in turn, lead them to conclude that I am a person of anything other than a supremely dignified character.

    If certain posters persist with their slanderous claims, I may be forced to call the cops, as well as instigate immediate proceedings through my lawyers.
     
    #127
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  8. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    Summary?
     
    #128
  9. Pixie fingers dildos and ****s into socks.
     
    #129
  10. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    Cheers mate <ok>
     
    #130

  11. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    We could have told you that without the essay above mate.
     
    #131
  12. BobbyD

    BobbyD President

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    hiagy following in the footsteps of keegans would love it, rafas facts or pearsons ostrich
     
    #132
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  13. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    #SockJizzer
     
    #133
  14. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    #134
  15. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    His cat's name is Socks.
     
    #135
  16. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    <rofl>
     
    #136
  17. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    They just get longer.

    Less is more mate.

    None is even better.
     
    #137
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  18. Burly Hurley

    Burly Hurley Well-Known Member

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    Not so sure about clearing things up mate, sounds more like a delicate nerve was just sandpapered.
     
    #138
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  19. Burly Hurley

    Burly Hurley Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #140

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