Right. Let's get one thing very clear. I have not, and do not jizz into socks, whether my own or anyone else's. When I mentioned about "****ing into a sock," it was a light-hearted, throw-away comment, and was, in no manner, shape or form self-referential. I was referring to the habit that "someone might have" of ****ing into a sock. Having cleared up that particular matter, I would also like to make it clear that I have never, at any time in the past, nor do I intend, at any time in the future, to finger a dildo. Or any other sexual aid, for that matter. That particular comment was, once again, a casual, throw-away comment that I made whilst engaging in banter with Pixie. Indeed, the comment was born out of the suggestion that Pixie owned (or, at the very least, managed) a seedy sex shop in some grimy backstreet, and that he was, in fact, the one who fingered dildos. Regular posters to this board will know that every word I write is the truth, but I am concerned that the casual observer may be given the wrong impression of me, which may, in turn, lead them to conclude that I am a person of anything other than a supremely dignified character. If certain posters persist with their slanderous claims, I may be forced to call the cops, as well as instigate immediate proceedings through my lawyers.
