Off Topic The Burly Arms

Well, if you go sticking your head in a croc's mouth I suppose ....

 

I'm pretty drunk in the pub trying to convince the old man (who's buying btw) to the stay out for the night.

His wife apparently said not to come home tonight. I've told him she definitely meant that literally

 

You're going to get him in a **** load of even more trouble.

 

Only doing my duty as a Son

 

Now cos it's Sunday I'm dragging him to the all the student like places

Poor **** doesn't know what to do with himself

 

Give him a line of chang, that'll get him enthused about it

 

Had a little nostalgic treat in London. A bag of Jolly Rancher, I don't think I've had one for about 15-20 years. £7.99 for a small bag... somehow they don't taste the same at that price the robbing ****ers.

 

£3.15 from Ocado
https://www.ocado.com/webshop/produ...gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CJWPjbTG89YCFfQV0wod0vkPfg

 

Just booked flights to here !

 

Not many people on them beaches. But where is it?

 

Vancouver Island, British Columbia.

Might meet up for a beer and spliff with @seabreeze if he's up for it ?

 

You should be used to getting fleeced...considering your wife and her habits, my main man!

 

So one of the booties says to me:

'maybe we should delete numbers since we want different things'

'up to you baby, maybe you should keep it for when your cycle goes full circle and is at the 'i can't do this, I need to be single again' stage, you know where to find me xx

Biatch

 

Sat in a gay club wondering if the chick cracking on to me was actually born a chick

 

Find out don't be a pussy...do that Crocodile Dundee **** on her/him/it

 

Massive potential to see some lesbian action,

Go Liebherr go.

 

Go for it mate. If it's a chick with a dick, then at least it's a story to tell the lads

 

my phone died and just got home...

Turned out she was a chick... And she was on a date with some bird I'd tried cracking onto 5 mins before

On another note some bloke started to try it on with my old man and I threatened to 'punch his ****ing head in'

Not my brightest moment

 

Anybody else have to put up with people at work who just grind on you and you can't figure out why?

 

I once had a housemate who I ****ing loathed for no logical reason. Everything he did and said annoyed me. He was incredibly thick, which the rest of our group found amusing. I wanted to beat him to death with his severed arm every time he came out with one of his idiotic comments.

"I ****ing hate watching cricket when it's raining."
"Why's that then?"
"They don't play."

20 years that's lived with me.