68 mins Kane misses to the right of Kane's goal... Question: Do you know who has had a good game? Answer: anybody who has missed this game. I salute you, oh wise ones.
I know it isn't saying much but your commentary is by far the most entertaining thing about this match
73 mins Handbags involving John Stones. Ref says "no boxing please. God forbid this turns into an actual sporting contest".
77 mins Not satisfied with taking part in the dullest 77 minutes of all time, including my intrepid venture into Ikea, the Slovenics are trying to take out the photographers with their crossing. Come to think of it, surrounded by slow moving furniture and incomprehensible names, with poorly drawn instructions nobody can make sense of, this is EXACTLY like Ikea.
Highlight of the game update 29864: Southgate takes time out with Henderson to discuss his thoughts and catch-up with his many feelings. "I play futball" "You do... kind of anyway... but let's catch up with what's inside" "Inside ball is a small crap ball. I try **** one once and see it" "... okkkkk... you play football now"
You got Bri biting quicker than normal I see mate. One reference to Simon the dildo and chomp chomp. Haha. We should play a game of Simon says...
83 mins Slovenia 6 almost scores! Crazy out of position bastard! Ball splits the premier league quality defenders definitely not made to look better by the foreign talent around them, and Hart almost dies saving it. That **** was like the bodyguard. Except nobody will always love Hart. Especially dandruff.
87 mins Streaker saves the day and gives the crowd something to cheer. Sweaty, naked balls are better than this game
6 added minutes... for what? Kill this game now. 89 mins, bullet to the brain, it's the kindest thing to do.
