I don't think there is etiquette anymore. Friends become lovers. Lovers become friends. Whatever. My point is, if RedLad's tales of his encounters that he let's us in on are how he's hoping to snag 'the one', it will be a long journey. I think he's enjoying the journey, mind you and why not.
I know someone who had that bad experience though, watched it happen over time. She was all over him and he did what he liked until that ring was on her finger now the lazy bitch does **** all. We don't get on as I can see straight through her ****. Poor bloke.
lol i know someone who was going out with his missus. He's still happily (i think) married to her now but before they were married she was well into footie and going to games and all that **** with him. As soon as they got married she dropped it completely and he didn't get to go either
I've seen this phenomenon with lots of people, friends, acquaintances They get into a new relationship and after a matter of weeks they drop everything droppable in their lives to spend all their time with that person in a really intense way, interests, hobbies, sports whatever and then after a few months it all comes spectacularly and inevitably crashing down. Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't be spending more time with that person as the relationship develops or that it shouldn't be intense at times, but it's definitely important to maintain your own sense of self and your own independence and individuality on some level, otherwise you destroy everything that made the relationship happen and work well in the first place
There's plenty of them around as well like More fool him for not squaring her right up early doors. Once you let them get feral you're ****ed
My wife was a lot more fun loving before marriage too. She didn't really care for sports but she would sit and watch a game with me or watch a race with me occasionally. I think a lot of it is wanting to impress the one you're with. (Women probably complain men were more willing to woo them and go shopping with them before marriage). Once the ring is there both sides feel less pressure to seem perfect... Women stop being fun and men stop going shopping and holding their bags.
lol think theres a slight difference, i don't think anyone has ever faked enjoying shopping. You may go shopping to please the girl or you may genuinely enjoy shopping yourself but i don't think people fake that enjoyment. Apparantly my mates missus really enjoyed it, i think he said she even initiated buying some tickets to the euros etc. Found that story hilarious
It's interesting actually, people can only hide their true self and put on that facade of perfection for probably around a month-two months, after that the true person emerges ... unless they're certified pathological and expert at concealing who they are Never stop dating. Even after marriage. Of course a level of comfortableness and routine sets in but you've got to set evenings, afternoons aside to date a woman and treat her that way
mine was married to a member of the Windsor chapter of Hells Angels (was the only UK chapter at the time tbf) so even when they seperated i followed a certain etiquette mind you still together over 30 years later.
I'm sorry if anything I've said has been way off mate. Obviously I can only go from what you tell us on here and it seems like the women you're with or [forgive me if I'm wrong] the ones you go for, it's ALL about the physical side. That's why I said that you won't find a long term partner if that's the only thing on the agenda. For example you play a lot of tennis but you've never said that your 'latest' has gone along and joined in. You haven't told us about any shared interests with any of your women. You are 100% on the money btw with your comment about retaining individuality. There's a balance somewhere and every couple finds their own, between shared interests and individual interests. Every partnership finds it's own path of what works best. If this latest girl is crying already then that's a red flag. If you're not pleasing each other one month in, doesn't look good for the long term.
That's sounds advice. However, it gets a little more difficult when you have three kids. When you're one income paying for five it also becomes a burden. Now kids are a little older it's a little easier to escape the two of us by ourselves, but there will be a time in any marriage, unless you can afford a nanny/regular babysitter where regular dating is going to be impossible (if you have kids).
I remember I just started talking to my current gf online for a while just casual then met up as just 'friends' for few times before things got more serious. Never really did the whole dating this but were a bit long distance (only about hour n half away so not crazy) but we mainly only see each other at the weekends because of it. Had similar situation but after much longer time together (been together properly for about 2 years now after knowing her for about 6 months beforehand) where she didn't know where was going didn't think was putting effort in etc. Juat had a chat got things out in open and made sure both wanting same things. Think if had had that convo after a couple months don't think would still Ben together though, that's a bit early to get that serious! Can't imagine going back dating now, Jesus the hassle is such hard work, even more hard work than trying to keep her happy I think.
All good my man, all good. Fair comment. I offered to play tennis with this one I'm on about but it hasn't happened yet. You're right, maybe I should ask her again to try it sometime. A lot of girls I met it has mostly been physical as I didn't feel they were a good match in other departments and there was nothing emotional really, so it was just fun, probably some have felt the same, others not, but I never heard otherwise. I'm not an emotional black hole by any means but I am very cautious these days about who I might invest that emotion in due to being ****ed around by crazy girls in the past. In this case we have done loads of activities together for dates that we have both been interested in and I think my willingness to continue seeing her in the absence of moving things further shows that I am looking for something more potentially. But as I see it, 4-5 weeks is still really early days and the whole situation is of her making rather than mine, certainly in the way she has framed it. When she said she wanted to talk I even took time out from what I was doing (guess) to speak to her for 20 minutes so it's not like I'm an insensitive twat
