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Friday Afternoon Joke Thread

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Red Hadron Collider, Aug 19, 2011.

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  1. Muppetfinder General

    Muppetfinder General Well-Known Member

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    At least I didn't lol at my own lame joke.

    Sheesh. <insert 'muppet found' emoticon>
     
    #21
    Muppetfinder General, Aug 19, 2011
  2. Somerset_Scouse

    Somerset_Scouse Member

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    Have to agree there! a daily check on that site is always a sure way to cheer yourself up after a **** day at the office <ok>
     
    #22
    Somerset_Scouse, Aug 19, 2011
  3. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    I looked at my son's lifeless body on the bed and with a heavy heart I pulled the plug.

    It's about time the little **** got a life and turned his Xbox off.
     
    #23
    Skylarker, Aug 19, 2011
  4. ArabianExpat

    ArabianExpat New Member

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    Muppetfinder General haha nice shout, although the lol was more off the cuff rather than laughing haha
     
    #24
    ArabianExpat, Aug 19, 2011
  5. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    [NSFW]Ladies, look on the bright side. Being raped burns more calories than regular sex! [/NSFW]
     
    #25
    Skylarker, Aug 19, 2011
  6. Zingy

    Zingy #ziggywould

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    A man was walking a young boy through some dark woods...the lad looks up to him and says "I'm scared"...The man replies..."How do you think I feel, I have to walk back by myself."
     
    #26
    Zingy, Aug 19, 2011

  7. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    I took my new girlfriend to the cinema last night, we sat at the back...

    There's less chance of people seeing us together.
     
    #27
    Skylarker, Aug 19, 2011
  8. ArabianExpat

    ArabianExpat New Member

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    I took my new girlfriend to the cinema last night, we sat at the back...

    There's less chance of people seeing us together.

    -------------------------------------------

    sounds like a jimmy carr joke lol
     
    #28
    ArabianExpat, Aug 19, 2011
  9. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Watching the Women's World Cup reminded me of when I was first learning the controls to FIFA.
     
    #29
    Skylarker, Aug 19, 2011
  10. Somerset_Scouse

    Somerset_Scouse Member

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    I went to a fancy dress party dressed as Spiderman and shagged a girl dressed as catwomen, we had the most amazing sex but never revealed our identities to one another.

    I told my family about it over breakfast. My dad high fived me, mum rolled her eyes and my sister ran off crying for some reason.
     
    #30
    Somerset_Scouse, Aug 19, 2011
  11. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    After years of seeking for him, America has finally offered $100,000,000 for Bin Laden.

    Man City have subsequently offered $105,000,000
     
    #31
    Skylarker, Aug 19, 2011
  12. Chris.

    Chris. #bringbackchris

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    <laugh>
     
    #32
    Chris., Aug 19, 2011
  13. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
    "Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
    "Fine," I said, "I want to die when West Brom win the premier league."
    "You crafty ****!" said the fairy.
     
    #33
    Skylarker, Aug 19, 2011
  14. BCR

    BCR Well-Known Member

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    I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one".

    <cool>
     
    #34
    BCR, Aug 19, 2011
  15. Dr Gonzo - LFC

    Dr Gonzo - LFC Member

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    why would jesus have made a great pornstar?


    He was hung like this *holds hands up like being crucified/showing a size*
     
    #35
    Dr Gonzo - LFC, Aug 19, 2011
  16. BCR

    BCR Well-Known Member

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    Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."
     
    #36
    BCR, Aug 19, 2011
  17. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    <laugh>
     
    #37
    Skylarker, Aug 19, 2011
  18. Hash.

    Hash. pure daycent

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    you called ?
     
    #38
    Hash., Aug 19, 2011
  19. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    You took 4 minutes to answer.
     
    #39
    Skylarker, Aug 19, 2011
  20. BCR

    BCR Well-Known Member

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    Haha, thought that might.... ya I'll have some of your finest sir.....

    please log in to view this image
     
    #40
    BCR, Aug 19, 2011
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