Here we are again. I'm not in a good mood to start the weekend as I had a knockback on a major assignment this morning, the potential client obviously being a witless t..t. So cheer me up a bit please. I'll start with one specially for Skylarker. It's not new, but still makes me smile. Feller says to his wife "Do you want to play the rape game?". "No" she says. "That's the spirit", he says. Josef Fritzl has spoken out in anger at the recent riots, blaming irresponsible parenting as the cause. "You never saw my kids out on the street like that". Over to you.
I HAVE A GOOD ONE ABOUT EVERTON GOT IT TODAY. police in the seychelles have recovered the arm of shark attack victim ian redmond it was identified by a tattoo that said Everton for the league 2011/12, in a statement the police said not even a shark would swallow that
I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night. "You're a big lass, aren't you?" I said. "Tell me something I don't know," she replied with a tear in her eye. "Salad tastes nice."
sitting watchin MOTD last week with a pint of beer, with the missus next to me,when i said "I love you so much,and i don't think i could ever live without you" She turned to me and said "Thats nice,or is it the beer talking?" I replied "I was talking to the beer" The missus asked me to do her a favour last week and i declined,she sad i was unfair as she goes to hell and back for me I told her "I don't ask you to come back!"
I don't understand why men are so eager to have anal sex. My uncle used to give it to me when I was young and I hated it.
I was watching the news with my wife last night. "It looks like the Kaiser Chiefs were right," I said. "Yeah, very funny," she replied. "I Predict A Riot." I said, "No... Everyday I Love You Less And Less."
That's not a joke, is it Sky? It worl explain a lot....... Kaiser Chiefs joke was excellent, by the way. Not had that one.
"You know why it's called Jackass?" complained my girlfriend. "Because only jackasses like you watch it." "That must be why you watch Loose Women then, you slut."
[NSFW]As my mouth slowly started to fill up with another man's cum, I made a mental note to myself... Never go down on a girl from Essex again.[/NSFW]
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't been invented. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because somebody had nailed it to a dinosaur.
At least now Amy Winehouse can do her lines off the most shiny surface known to man. Jade Goody's head.
Muppetfinder General they are almost as lame as, why did the orange stop half way up the hill? because it ran out of juice lol
Wheelchair users are so ungrateful. They've put ramps up for them all over my town but you never see the lazy ****ers doing any tricks.
The **** ones alway make me laugh though i don't no why- What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster? Cockerpoodledoo!!
