Made my decision

After many restless nights I have decided to ditch the wife there is no kids involved but we have a mortgage
How do I tell her and what about the house
No other people ionvolved just totaly fed up

 

Tell her you're gay and you've been living a lie for years.

If my experience of you on here is anything to go by she wont be that surprised

 

Tell her to get the **** out your house. That should do it. Didny work for me, but it might work for you.

 

F@ck that and any way I am not gay I only help out when they are short handed

 

So you've pumped him?

 

Just tell her your ****ing her sister and that you are on the verge of stabbing her parents in the eye with a piece of glass with dogshit on the end of it...

Worked for me

 

I always feel that a message is best delivered burnt into the grass on to someones front garden

 

Is she decent looking? If so send her down here for a quickie and change the locks when she's out. **** it even is she's not I might still oblige (it's been a while)

 

Shag her up the dung funnel and then tell her she's dumped.

That way she won't feel so bad.

 

Fit as f@ck and before you ask no I will not post pics etc

 

Get one of us to pump her and we`ll arrange it so you catch her in the act. That way you have the moral high ground to kick her out.

Post her pic and I`ll consider volunteering

 

Rape her, kill her, bury her in the nearest woods.

It worked for Nat Fraser

 

Write her a letter explaining your feelings (burds like feelings) then sit and have a wee chat after she's read it, making sure you have a bottle of wine handy. Then either chuck her out and give her half the value of the house or vice versa.

If it was me I'd do the thing ER said.

 

This thread is ace! You joking right? You're asking for help on here?

 

ERs dunghatch idea isn't bad as is Medro's lawnfire message

I say just pump somebody else and get caught, preferably in the act.

 

This. But tell her halfway through. Makes the rest of the shag that bit more interesting

 

Why not? We're not all cynics like you.

 

If she's fit as she's probably getting it elsewhere already so she probably won't be bothered.

 

Actually I agree, it has the added benefit that is she's actually turned on by catching you and joins in you can always change your mind.

 

Don't think cynic is the right word. I'm a bit more discombobulated.