Right, now England, are the number 1 test side in the world. I may aswell become a dirty little glory hunter. And begin to 'like it'. Someone...please...explain the rules of the fecking game to me. Because, no doubt, it will be one of the main points of topic on here for a while. P.S Im in no way ashamed that I have no knowledge of this game
Do you know literally nothing or is it just certain aspects you don't know about? knowing things like fielding positions is not important in learning the basics.
An explanation of cricket for aliens: You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
I always support England at cricket. Nothing better than seeing them stuff the arrogant aussies. And the english press thst slag them off all the time are getting right up em. **** em.
I know quite a bit about cricket. It was invented by Bummington Redraw-Ringpiece as a game that homosexuals could play. Each side takes turns to swing a dildo at a ball ("batting") and then try and catch the ball. The timings of the game are vital and breaks for lunch, tea, high tea, elevenses, bumfun hour, second breakfast and felch tea. The game is very dangerous and all players are required, by law, to wear a cockring. As well as good old fashioned homosexuality, the game is a bastion of "village green imperialism" whereby a country and a time that never existed are represented and modern countries are BANNED from playing unless they go under their colonnial names - recently, a close game between Rhodesia and the Non-Belgian Congo (whites only) ended with a victory for Rhodesia by seventeen cocky-bum-bums. The winning team generally get their pick of the opposing player with the tightest buns and ravage him before burning his arse and putting it in a tiny urn. It's what made Britain great
Changed days indeed. It's not so long ago that the England team was so **** and their expectations so low that they organised an open-top bus parade after winning a 2 team competition.
Against a country of 20 million when there's 50 million of them. Also, about 9 countries play the game seriously. Imagine Scotland celebrating beating Andorra at Shinty and you get the picture. Except it's a lot gayer.
Some bloke holds a piece of wood in his hands and stands infront of some smaller pieces of wood that are stuck in the ground. Another bloke throws a ball with the intention of hitting the pieces of wood and the other chap uses his piece of wood to hit the ball away preventing the ball hitting the smaller pieces of wood. Lots of other blokes stand around scratching their arses and picking their noses waiting for the ball to be hit to them.
If they went back to the original version of Brockian Ultra-Cricket it would be infinitely more interesting.
If my Douglas Adams-related memory serves me right, you need three legs to play that. So, I'm in, obviously
If that were the case it`s only a matter of time before the Aussies become the best again please log in to view this image
