I absolutly hate it. After nearly 5 years of absolute mayhem bringing my boys up I moved into my own house 2 weeks ago and when they're at their mam's I can't stand it. I've now found myself with a lot more spare time and I should love it but I'm not used to my own company anymore. Does anybody else feel the same or is it just me?
There's many of us on here who've been there before mate. It takes time to adjust. And the hardest part of being told it takes time to adjust is having to experience that time it takes to adjust. It's tough. But it gets easier mate. You just gotta give yourself time to get through it. Because tomorrow, or the day after, you'll see your boys again. And also from personal experience, drink doesn't help. It just makes the lows that much lower. So you might do what I often do now. Hit the gym before the bar!
Yeah mate im starting to get back into the gym now after being lazy the past few months. That certainly helps mentally as much as it does physically. Luckily my shifts at work stop me from being able to drink midweek otherwise i think id crumble.
Then thank goodness for your workshifts Tees. Small blessings in all shapes, and all that..... Just got back into the gym 2 months ago mate. Got a wedding coming up soon Didn't want to be the fat dad spoiling the big day. Didn't spend too much time in the gym last year and it took me a while to realise the detrimental impact it would have mentally, as much as physically. Tel mentioned it a long time ago and he's so right about the mental aspects of gym work. So get your ass back to work tomorrow, do some gym work, see your kids, give them great dad time, and when you've got some free time find a fit bird and enjoy the moment. Then the following week, do it again. And again. And again. And again. Till you find a bird you like enough to stand in front of your boys. But that's a long way from now.... So. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and kick your own ass mate! The boys will be expecting to see you very soon.
I see my boys every day mate i wouldnt have it any other way neither would they. Me and my ex have agreed joint custody of them both cause she knows how much i do for the boys and how lost shed be if she had them more than me. Yeah i enjoy the mental side of going to the gym just as much as the gains i make. I feel like a million dollars after ive been. Good luck with the Wedding mate and thanks for the advice . Thats what makes me like this forum so much, its a good place to come and vent. I probably do more than others but its easier to get things off your chest to strangers. I tend to smile and put on a brave face in real life cause i dont want to come across as sounding weak.
Give over mate. The strongest man in the world has a weak spot. To admit your "weakness" is a sign of your strength. Hope all comes good.
It's about mindset mate(not the kind you control, more in relation to life circumstances), when the chips are down, silence and an empty house is pure hell. I hate it too. But when I was in a good place I was quite content in my own company. It's **** though mate, the months following a break. I bet it's worse with kids involved. I can't imagine what's going through your head. All the best mate. Match early next season? Preseason even?
Tees, it'll make you appreciate it all the more now when they're both making an absolute racket in your gaff on their next visit.
I feel the same, mate. 2 years ago, I left a life behind and made a fresh start. I'm in the middle of nowhere without friends or any kind of support. Apart from my brother, my family are dead. I do everything by myself, every meal, every sleep and ****e. I do it alone and I still haven't got the answers. I had to leave my dog at my mates last night, purely because I was going to put her lead around my neck and lower myself off the bridge that crosses the motorway near mine. I found some resistance from somewhere though. Just try and surround yourself with company as much as you can, keep yourself busy. That's all I can say mate x
I've been going through something very similar over the past three years. I was told that if I used the time when my daughter wasn't with me as time to rest and relax and make myself happy, I'd be in a better place to do my best for her when she was with me. You've got to look after yourself mate. When she wasn't with me I'd go and see mates, but not just to drink, to do other stuff, get out in the fresh air and do things. When there was no one else about, I'd go for a run and then get in, get comfortable, and watch a film or even stick the XBox on for a bit. When they're not there, take care of yourself and do things that make you happy. And don't feel guilty for doing those things. Get plenty of exercise and you'll feel good in yourself. Stay healthy. If you feel good in yourself, you're doing your best for your boys. Its a hard thing to go through, but if you stay positive and look after yourself it does get better. Good luck mate.
Defo mate. The Boro game at home seems like a long time ago now. Ive had too much going on in my private life the past 6 months to think about going to any games but ill defo be travelling up alot more next season.
Same here, it's been the worst winter(without drinking) for my mental health I've had in my entire life. Feeling much more better now the lights getting lighter though. Even planning to go out saturday day and night. Will be good to see you mate.
Glad your feeling better mate. Itll be good to see you again for a good drink and catchup. Well have to try persuade 83 to come aswell.
I fancy Manchester. I always fancy Manchester. Bolton would be the team for that. But yeah I'm open to Sheffield too. Is there out on the coast?
