Things you'd put in Room 101

Drug dealers and anyone with a media profile who tacitly condones the use of said drugs in a vain bid to appear 'cool' or 'edgy'.

 

I've seen better TV shows on Channel 5, Fridays at 11pm in the early 2000's.

 

Russell "Im cool cos I smoke" Crow.
yeah wait till you get to 50 and your skin turns to leather and the parts dry up.
really cool then.

 

He is 52

 

60 then?

 

Try changing your car, they know it's you ...

 

First day at Secondary needed careful negotiation.

Lad in our year spent five years being called Mold cos his football boots hadn't been out of his bag since the previous May and when he put them on for the first PE lesson...

Also a lad who had to answer to the name of Fart for the rest of his school career. Not a good day to break wind loudly.

 

Don't worry well still call you Ernie mate.

































Fart

 

Blokes Who use toilet cubicles just to piss ,when there are plenty of free urinals

 

Cleaners who stand behind you, hands on hips when you're having a piss.

 

Hands on your hips.

Kinell Kemps, you must piss in some strange karzis.







But kudos.

I think I'd struggle to squeeze a drop out under those circumstances.

 

Seriously though Ern, it's at work. You go in, have a slash, turn around and there she is. I have standards.

 

Not everyone can do 9 to 5. Just hope you don't have to work Christmas Day, Spook would have a meltdown.

 

Unless to use a urinal would break the unspoken rules.

Always leave a gap. If you use the bog, don't sit down unless you're a lass, always use the furthest free one if ones in use.

 

People in sales who sell leggings to women over size 14. They shouldn't be see through. Not ever.

 

I've had a 20+ year debate with a mate on urinal etiquette. I firmly believe you always use the furthest free one and stay as far away from anyone as possible whereas he says you go one from the end to send out a message that says 'I'm not trying to look at your cock but I'm not going to be so rude as to go as far away from you as possible'. He's wrong isn't he? And almost certainly stuck in the closet?

 

I'm not usually bothered. Provided the bloke doesn't try to rape me or stop me pissing I'm not fussed.

Some feel obliged to do the "I'm not looking at your cock" whistle. And not forgetting the flegging to make you extra manly.

 

Yes, he's a gaylord. FACT.

You should also NEVER whistle, or sing, that just makes it awkward for everyone. Same applies to being on your phone. Just don't do it.

 

I find a well delivered fart breaks any doubt, just let rip and **** em.

 

Tip for urinal use at football matches. Make sure your scarf doesnt dangle in the tray.