Match Day Thread Liverpool V Plymouth - FA Cup 3rd round

As long as I'm last out I'll turn off the lights.

I will shoo the cats away form your decaying corpses for as long... well as i'm bothered

 

No cats or ****ing badgers near me please. Dogs are OK

 

ok so let the dogs eat your eyeballs but no cats... right.. let me take notes here. Maybe i can arrange the corpses such that this occurs naturally.

 

Just been invited to the Toilet on Sunday by the same client as last time. Not really a good idea on crutches

 

nice of him though..

last time were you a jinx? i think you were.

GO!

use an elevator

 

Yes, we pasted them and got beat 3 - 0. What the ****'s an 'elevator'

 

a lift in your ye olde english

 

here how long are you on crutches now? you are more of a sturridge than a coutinho it seems.

 

Sadly mate, I reckon it's indefinite now. My knees are so ****ed with arthritis that the crutches are now prerequisite. I'm going to have to sign up for the replacement waiting list.

 

ouch. I know a yank who had them done and it worked very well. Hopefully you can get it done without too much time.

he had a trike he cycled about though cos he said he couldn't walk round concrete floors as he'd wear them out and you only get one.

 

seriously if your arms are ok you should consider getting a wheelchair if only for some stuff just to lessen the strain on the knees

 

Have you any idea how much **** I'd get at the Cheese if I rolled up in a wheelchair?

 

I would say it would cause issues sitting at the bar and of course with the sluts. they would assume your tiny penis doesn't even work any more as well.

 

they would soon get used to it - in fact play pathetic & you may get a push home
added bonus points
1.get a Radar key and have access to disabled toilets normally far better than mens bogs particularly in pubs.
2.get a blue badge - much easier to cadge lifts if you can enable free parking.
3.women will want to use you as a seat with possibility of sympathy sex

see you're wavering now aren't you

 

1. I already do that. I even did it without crutches.

2. I don't drive.

3. Needs to be more perverse.

 

And escaped leopards.

 

BBC Salford and the FA, innit?

 

You don't need to, I think that was his point - you supply your designated driver with the badge for free parking - they'll be tripping over themselves

 

Obviously. It's all their fault.
And Diego's.

 

My Mum has had both knees replaced, she gets around much better. She is 84 and considered it a minor operation. She did not have to wait too long for her operation.

Once you have had it done you can't kneel down anymore, so you will have to give up church and begging the unit for sex!