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Stupid things you've bought for Christmas.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Tina., Dec 19, 2016.

  1. Redwino

    Redwino Active Member

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    D'you think my Mum would like that ? I,m all out of ideas and she won't tell me what she wants. She's 88 but still a woman after all.
     
    #41
    Archers Road likes this.
  2. B-C

    B-C Well-Known Member

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    Pics or gtfo
     
    #42
  3. Redwino

    Redwino Active Member

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    My phone doesn't do pics otherwise I'd fix you up. Right now she's on the phone to her big sister in North Wales, they shouldn,t bother wae phones a ****in megaphone each and they could hear each other, it's only 320 miles. Her sister's 90 if you want a pen-pal, or more.
     
    #43
    Void likes this.
  4. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    Well thanks,have size 7 and I know it's girly but Zola,Messi and Ronaldo all size 8 but wear 7s for control and power,just saying.
     
    #44
  5. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    A visit maybe
     
    #45
  6. Redwino

    Redwino Active Member

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    From You ?
     
    #46

  7. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    In Dublin and a bit dear for flights at the mo,where is she?
     
    #47
  8. B-C

    B-C Well-Known Member

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    Does she have a gsoh?
     
    #48
  9. Redwino

    Redwino Active Member

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    Mick's bottled it, I can get him fixed up in Glasgow or north Wales, both easily accessible via the M8 or M56. What more d'you want ? Plus I wouldn't have to worry about xmas presents. win.win.
     
    #49
  10. Redwino

    Redwino Active Member

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    GSOH ? pishes herself laughing all the time !
     
    #50
  11. B-C

    B-C Well-Known Member

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    Throw in a ****e and we have a deal.:emoticon-0150-hands
     
    #51
    Archers Road likes this.
  12. Redwino

    Redwino Active Member

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    I don't think that would be voluntary but it probably wouldn't be noticed in the heat of the moment. Mick, grab two of those drone things, one in each hand, head due west from Dublin and you'll come to my mother's birthplace of Trevor on the Llyn peninsula. Turn right and head north to Chester and have your wicked way with my Aunt. Thereafter, take off again, head due north and bale out over one of the many green and pleasant lands in Glasgow, not Glasgow Green which is full of junkies, and I,ll come and collect you. Sorted.
     
    #52
    Mick O'Toon likes this.
  13. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    Sounds complicated,can I not just get a plane?
     
    #53
  14. Redwino

    Redwino Active Member

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    Nae bother, ask them to let you out over Ruchill Park, stay away from the devil dugs.
     
    #54
  15. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    Flew to Prestwick Glasgow once from London,was nowhere near Glasgow but nice scenery all the same.
     
    #55
  16. Da Original M.D 20/20

    Da Original M.D 20/20 Well-Known Member

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    Is it **** <laugh>

    Ayr is the land of scum and boring ****. Trust me, my sister lives there and ST is from there, or abouts.
     
    #56
    Gambol, Void and Mick O'Toon like this.
  17. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    Did I not go by all those nice golf courses?

    Thought ST lived in Edinburgh and holidayed in Cornwall/Devon.
     
    #57
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2016
  18. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

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    If he heads due West from Dublin he should end up in New York eventually.
     
    #58
    Ciaran and Mick O'Toon like this.
  19. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    I think it would be a superb idea to buy your 88yr old Mum a strap-on and bottom lubricant. You never know, there could be some latent lesbians or geezers who like it up the dunger down at the Pensioners Club. It could be a GC version of the Lemon Party.

    Failing that she could always use it as a dipper for planting spring bulbs and the lube for the dry skin on the back of her calves.
     
    #59
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  20. Redwino

    Redwino Active Member

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    Good thinking Grove, I'll pass that onto her with your compliments. She might ask for your phone number because she likes a man with imagination.
     
    #60
    Ciaran likes this.

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