Bus drivers who don't stop at the bus stop. Mobile phones used on public transport as a "ghetto blaster" - **** am showing my age!!! People talking on mobile phones on public transport for excessive time periods i.e more than 2 minutes. Folk not saying "thanks" if you hold the door open for them. People trying to walk through the door as you are leaving. Women not having their cash/card ready at the till. Post away ... Q TN8 Train/Bike rage/BFB's dog **** rage.
Slow walking ****ers in a shopping centre/high street really get on my ****ing nerves. It used to be great when my kid didn't want to walk so I'd take him in the pushchair & run in to folk if they were walking to slow or even worse, stopped in the middle of the pavement chatting away about how Dave has to go back to the specialist about his back....... Some kid thought he was hard the once stretching himself so he was covering most of the pavement whilst his mom was too busy looking in the travel agentswindow. Went straight over the little ****s foot, he screamed in pain & his mom tried to shout at me......so I turned round & advised she should keep an eye on her son rather than standing & blocking the path because she wants to take her fat arse to some ****ty Spanish resort. I hate fat ****s too.
iPhone apps and people who show me them People who wear sunglasses indoors or in winter. Outlandish gay guys who mince about the place. **** OFF IT'S ALL AN ACT YOU ****! Anyone who wears over-ear headphones in a pub/nightclub who isn't the DJ. Male friends who dress the same but in different colours. ****ING QUEERS.
Birds who keep texting when I'm with them Cheeky ****s in the office who make sly remarks if I leave earlier than them. I ****ing started 2 hours before you but leave half an hour before you. Go **** yourself you ****ing ****face ****
How when you ask for a pint of lager nowadays, you have to specify you don't want the Ice Cold, surely it should be the other way around and if these ****in gaylords want Ice cold they should have to specifically request it. ****ers
People who stand on escalators - They are still stairs you lazy ****s, if one breaks down are you just goin to ****in stand there? No, of course ****ing not, you're going to finish your journey on foot UP THE STAIRS. Dawdlers - Get the **** out of my ****ing way you slow ****s. Yes, you grandma ya aul ****in witch. B.O - There's no ****in call for it. Thank you.
Oh aye, and Devil Dogs, take the ****s teeth out when their just pups and they can ****in eat soup or ice cream, instead of some ****s wean!!!
Your at the hole in the wall at the bank. There is more than 1 machine but people are only queing up at one machine. There is always some **** walks up to the other one and either trys it or asks ' Is this wan no workin'....AAArghhhh...Aye it's working ya ****in tube, we just aw like standing aboot like pricks...get tae ****!!!<angry>
Anyone who asks me about X-Factor/Big Brother/Assorted ****e like this and doesn't expect to get told to "**** off" Chris Moyles Studenty types from privileged backgrounds going on about war and poverty like they have any ****ing clue. Anyone who says "Thanking you" instead of "Thank you" The smug look on Simon Cowell's face Facebook People who think "Banksy" is a genius. He's a **** with a stencil. There are so many more. I'm full of annoyance
****in Eastenders, and ****s that want to guess about possible plot outcomes. Get out the ****in house!!!
Folk that say, "good afternoon" when you show up at 9:01am. **** OFF. Folk that make a smart remark then to a ****E laugh....hum haw haw, guffaw...if you leave then come back because you forgot your ****ing bag (not a man bag) or keys or some ****. Having to work on a project with an ass kissing bitch who works 10 hours a day for no reason (probably) other than to see who can be the fattest ****ing lesbian with the boss and make you look bad for working normal hours.
Girlfriends who text complaining that they are getting snide looks just because they got their ****in ash wednesday forehead raping today and you reply sayin "just kung fu the bastards" and they reply "no, cant eat meat today" That's kung po sweetheart. I would have said "try a karate chop" but........
Bosses that promise a wage rise to everyone in March, only to come out with the "no, its not guaranteed, we're reviewing the market" We're going to need a 'birds you would shag' thread to bring me out of this **** of a mood now
People who think intelligence is a crime People who listen to radio plays. THEY'RE ****ING ****E The time sponsored by Accurist. Anyone who thinks a pannini is anything more than a ****ing toastie. Losing one ****ing sock Anyone who thinks Gavin & Stacey is funny Those two ****s from Gavin & Stacey Anything on BBC3 in fact American style news Anyone who uses the word "Chillax" White British kids who dress and talk like black Yank gangsters. Junkies
Bizarre & changing rules in the office. Yesterday I was 2 minutes late & told to make the time up Today was in at 9 on the dot & dragged to the local Asda for half an hour to buy ingredients for the boss' bread maker so we can all have soup & bread for lunch Turned my pc on at 9.45 ffs.
Pocket Dogs/Micro Pigs Anyone in public wearing a bluetooth headset or blackberry attached to their belt Men with umbrellas Cheap toilet roll Radio 1 The entire Match of the Day cast People who say "Cheer up, or it might never happen" **** YOU, I'M MISERABLE BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL BREATHING 5 DVD's for ÃÆÃâÃâ ââ¬â¢ÃÆââ¬Â âââ‰â¢ÃÆÃâÃââÃÆââââ¬à ¡ÃâìÃÆââ¬Â¦ÃâáÃÆÃâÃâ ââ¬â¢ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¡ÃÆÃââââ¬à ¡ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâã20. THEY ARE ALL ****E Plastic surgery for men U2/Bob Geldof/Charity events by celebrities.
Take a ****in deep breath Venom, your a baw hair away fae a stroke man! I'm just glad you've not mentioned Golf yet
