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Your next Visit

Discussion in 'Tottenham Hotspur' started by Resurgam, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
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    Good day spurs fans. I know you have already visited us (Norwich) this season, and it seems we may stay up this season. So, in preperation for your visit to us next season hopefully, here is a guide that may make your trip easier - not that your team needs much help there. <laugh>



    Notes of Interest.

    It is only necessary to produce this passport if challenged OR traveling in the county of Norfolk. They (the locals) only object to furriners (you) coming into their domain and NOT leaving it. In fact they have been known to assist vacating holiday – makers and visiting football fans with a pitch fork or well aimed turnip.
    If, as an immigrant, you may have purchased an illegal Norfolk passport on the black market, you have obviously not been residing in the county for the statutory 38 years.
    Beware if any locals pretend to accept you after 20 years, as this will certainly be a bluff and normally happens in a public house when you are buying a round. So, do not be fooled, they are not as slow as they make out. Indeed, they have a saying:- ‘Yow ken allus tell a Norfick bor, but yow keernt tell im much’


    USEFUL PHRASES:

    Good morning: Ar ya orrite
    Good afternoon: Ar ya orrite
    Good evening: Ar ya orrite
    Hello: Hay ya gitting on tagether
    Goodbye: Fare ya well tagether or Dew yow keep a troshun
    Unfortunate situation: A buggers muddle
    To chat with someone: Mardle
    To think someone is backward: Yow siller owld fule.
    Unimportant chatter: Squit
    Below standard: Thas a rumman
    A violent threat: Blast bor, yowl git a ding-a-tha-lug
    Feeling quite well: Fare t’ middlin

    FAMILY NAMES:

    Father: Far
    Mother: Martha
    Boy: Bor
    Girl: Gal

    A common question asked when trying to catch furriners out is: ‘Hay ya far got a dicky bor?’
    This means: ‘Has your father got a donkey boy?.




    PLEASE FILL IN THE GAPS AS APPROPRIATE.



    FOTA


    Last Nearme:
    Farst Nearmes:
    Okapeershun:
    Plearce o’ Buth.

    NOTES ON FILLING OUT THE PASSPORT

    Surname: (larst nearme) - Always use a local one such as: skipper, Thrasher, Basher Thumper, Muddler, Cruncher or similar.

    Christian names: (farst nearmes) – Again, go for a local one such as: Humper, Spike, Didler, Thruster, Blinker, Catcher or something similar.

    Occupation: (Okapeershun) - Fearmer, Ret catcher, Kreeber, Sugarbeet Larry droiver or simply put I wark at the tearky fearm.

    Photograph: (Fota) – When posing, always hold a frozen turkey or sugar beet in front of you, place a straw in the corner of your mouth and piece of black paper over one of your two front teeth, smile and look at the ceiling with a simple expression on your face.

    Place of birth: (Plearce o’ Buth) - Choose a tricky one such as Happisburgh – Haysbra, Wymondham – Windham, or Hunstanton - Hunston
     
    #1
  2. totsfan

    totsfan Well-Known Member

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    thanks maestro,i needed a good laugh today,i'v actually been to Norwich before in 89 with Sutton,when we lost 8-0.
     
    #2
  3. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
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    Glad to be of service totsfan <cheers>
     
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  4. deedub93

    deedub93 Well-Known Member

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    Maestro

    Please advise: What is Norwich for

    Curry
    Beer
    Spliff
    Lap dance

    Cheers mate
     
    #4
  5. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
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    Nickers off ready when i come home <laugh>
     
    #5
  6. El_Bando

    El_Bando Can't remember, where was I?
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    Im from Suffolk and I know the Norfolk lot dont take too kindly to incest jokes <ok>
     
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  7. Wasn't Fred West from Norfolk?
     
    #7
  8. Blimey! Sounds like Norwich is the graveyard of ambition!
     
    #8
  9. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
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    That really doesn't say a lot about leeds though does it.......or does it ? <laugh>
     
    #9
  10. ThaiCanary

    ThaiCanary Well-Known Member

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    It's better to have low ambitions and achieve them than to have unrealistically high ambitions and constantly fail <ok>
     
    #10

  11. ThaiCanary

    ThaiCanary Well-Known Member

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    It's called managing expectations, ours are realistic.

    We lose to you, we don't really worry about it. You lose to us and it's utter devastation <laugh>
     
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