Off Topic What gets on your tits the most?

Yes, I sometimes blow one of them dog whistles down the phone to the ****s.

 

Are they not silent whistles though no wonder you get so many calls.

 

I had one just before I came out here off some thick twat trying to get me to claim for industrial deafness.

Thick Twat: Hello Sir, our records show that you have recently been employed in the Heavy Engineering Industry and you may be able to claim for loss of hearing.

Me: Pardon, you'll have to speak up I can't hear you.

Thick Twat: Our records show that you have recently been employed in the Heavy Engineering Industry and you may be able to claim for loss of hearing.

Me: Sorry you'll have to speak up i'm a bit deaf.

It took the stupid **** 5 minutes to suss out I was winding him up

 

I bet you're a right twat to work with!!

 

Aye I'm not really, i'm probably one of the most laid back people gannin and if you cannot have a laugh then why bother

 

Absolutely mate! I could've written that myself, Welder

 

My monitor nearly wore my morning tea

 

Woke up this morning with a heed like a bust tennis racquet, put the kettle on and turn the shower on, jumped in and got all lathered up as you do and the frigging water went off, oh bugger.

That gets right on my tits

 

Bus drivers

 

Elaborate?

 

Refs who book GKs for timewasting in the 90th minute when they've been doing it since the 10th.

What the **** does that achieve you silly twat

 

Well if I must
You see you stand in a bus shelter with many people because it is pouring with rain
And I mean pouring with rain the bus shelter has many glass widows and you can clearly see the occupants.
However the bus will speed past you even though you have hailed the bus down.
This has not happened only once.
These drivers seem to enjoy messing the public about.
I'll re fraise that
The majority of drivers

 

Yep, they're all ****s Vince.
You have to be a miserable twat to get a job as a bus driver.

 

I wasn't disagreeing Vince, just curious as to why? for the record I agree, they're all lazy ****s who can't get a proper job.

I once got ran over by a bus on my way home from nightshift, the ****ing driver tried to blame me FFS!!! I was going straight ahead and he decided he wanted to turn left and just ran over me, but at least he stopped. I was OK and jumped on the bus to batter the twat and it was full of women going to Dewhursts and they were all up in arms at this poor **** of a driver. Getting battered off me was the least of his worries

I did get a brand new bike off the bus company like, but still had to carry the old one home for another 5 ****ing miles so yes, I agree, all bus drivers are lazy ****s.

 

Sorry mate but I can't help lolling at that.

 

All bus drivers are fat, sweaty virgins.

They think they can just pull out on you and you'll just do a diving two footed tackle on your brakes and give your whole family whiplash, just because they can't be bothered to wait for a gap in the traffic.

If it was up to me, everybody would be allowed one free volley to the face of a bus driver, every day.

 

Buses are for pikeys and git old people.

 

I hate the ones who give me the impression that I have really done them a disservice by actually wanting to get on their bus. Like they are pissed off over the fact that I had the nerve to have to make them slow down to a stop and open their doors. And when you hand over a £10 note and they have to give you change.....woe betide!
Also when you are walking home alone in the dark and the bastard bus creeps up behind you and happens to go 'PSSSSHHHH!!!!' as it goes past. Im sure they just have a button that does nothing other than to make that noise, just to make people **** their pants.

 

That's a little unfair on Vince though Comm

 

Well send ya 52 seater party bus round for him.