Off Topic Walton St Market

How many previous owners?

Any recent refurbs or modifications?

Are the fixtures and fittings original?


Insist on a test walk. A full up on the shoulders of four burly chaps job. You don't want it to fail the first time you use it.


Check for damp. It's a bugger to retro-treat any moisture affected living space.

Also be aware of any signs of a cut and shut job. There's some unscrupulous buggers in the second hand death box business.



Twenty quid and no higher. Cheaper if they try to suggest some kind of time-share arrangement.

 

Knew I could rely on you Ernie. Some of these lot dont take things seriously on here.
Twenty quid eh. I could pretty much buy the full market for that.

 

That's top dollar, mind.

It'd have to be making your heart race faster than a buttered bullet to make you part with more than three Winstons.

 

If I could get it for ten, you reckon I could take it up to whitby and flog It to some goths? There's loads of the weird ****ers up there?
I could make a killing








Budum tush

 

Yes good idea Dracula and all that.
Could use it as a planter

 

Can you convince Mrs Chazz that if you add legs it will make a nice coffee table?

 

Not really den. It was like a grey colour, not wood.

 

Cofin Table.
That's a novel idea.

 

Ah
OK
I didn't realise she was more into making furniture from traditional coffins

Just have to stick it in your man cave then

 

I've just been googling coffins, as you do, just to see what my profit margins might be...
You can get a cardboard coffin for 99 quid and you can decorate it yourself!! Wtf

 

Decorating cardboard is tricky, if it's corrugated all the words will look 'ribbed'
Could use tinsel maybe if you're planning a Christmassy death?

I think I'd just go for a standard 'This Way Up' stamp

 

99 sheets for a cardboard coffin?!


I'll do you one for 35 quid.

And you won't even have to decorate it yourself.

It'll have Findus Crispy Pancakes Minced Beef & Onion 6 Pack 330g 50% extra free written all over it, but I'm sure that you can live with that.


Or die with it.

Whatevs.

 

I should say I'm in prime fetttle and it's not for me.
She poisoned me written on the side would be good though.

 

Guess what I'm sat in in the garden

 

I know a gay bloke who has already ordered his own special coffin for when the day comes. It has the added feature of a "false bottom" in it.

 

"It's not the cough that carries you off, but the coffin they carry you off in".

 

With the possible hygiene factors coming into play. After eating a bloody lovely Polish hot dog, made by a bloody lovely Polish person. Maybe the coffin wouldn't be such a silly purchase.

 

I can't get a handle on this coffin story.

 

Well?
Did you buy it, and if so how much for?

 

Nah it wasn't there. I was gutted.
I was sat in my kids paddling pool in the garden. Wallowing